Ripple
by Neo-Dracula
Summary: Something seemingly insignificant during the Mushroom War has changed Ooo in a parallel reality... Marceline is the crazy Ice Queen, Simon is the most talented doctor in Ooo and Finn's adoptive father, Jake is a street thug, PB and Shoko are lovers and infamous thief's, and Billy made the ultimate sacrifice against Lich. And that's just the half of it. ( Finnceline and Pb x Shoko)
1. Butterfly Effect

**There are two things in this story I'd like to address: one, Finn and Shoko are both alive. How can this be, you ask? Well, another person's soul was reincarnated into Finn's body. You'll see who that is later. Number two: Simon is still alive. I'll explain that later. *EDIT* OK, I made Shoko's transition to immortality rather abrupt, so I changed it just a bit. Don't worry, I'll explore more into my favorite AT slash pairing in chapter 11, and you'll see why Shoko choose to become a eternally young like Bubblegum.**

* * *

Prismo could feel it. Sure, he granted thousands of beings thousands of alternate reality wishes, but he felt this one chilling him to the bone.

However it happened, the wish Jake the Dog made had shaken their universe. It split. Sure, nothing happened in their universe, but it created a whole different universe... and it was created without Prismo's direct interference.

Prismo had a quick peak into this universe... nothing had changed. Except, however, the day the first bomb of the mushroom war dropped, the pilot hesitated for a moment... just a moment, however. It still hit and exploded a few feet from where it hit in it's mother universe... yet, everything in this new universe was topsy-turvy.

The butterfly effect at it's finest. Prismo decided to let this universe live, simply out of the fact he found it humorous that such an insignificant detail that barley changed a major event would make everything so different.

Life is funny, isn't it?

* * *

Simon woke up, yawning. He gently scratched his nose and stepped out of his sleeping bag, plucking his glasses out of his backpack and looking around he and Marceline's temporary camp ground.

However, something was missing... Marceline. Simon looked around worriedly, noticing her sleeping bad, backpack, and Hambo were missing as well.

He then noticed something about his hip. Usually, their was a golden crown slapping against him every step... but, it too, was missing.

Simon laughed nervously, pushing his glasses back up, "Okay, Marcy! That's very funny, you got me! Please, come out now!"

No response. Simon felt his heart sinking. He felt his knees buckling and he fell back onto his sleeping bag... that's when he saw the slip of paper tucked under his back pack. He gulped, wiping some sweat from his forehead and yanking it out.

Written in messy, childish handwriting and littered with misspellings was a note from Marceline. It read:

_Deer Simon,_

_I was thinkeng abut te song you rote last nite. If that crayon is makening u crazee, then ets my turn 2 sav u._

_I went to go hid it sumewere u wont find it. Ill bee rite bak._

_Luv, Marcy_

Simon crumbled the paper, "No! This can't be happening!"

He quickly got up, dashing into the forest to save his young friend.

* * *

Simon's heart dropped even further when he found a segment of the forest frozen over. He followed a trail of ice to a small cave, where he heard soft crying from a little girl.

"Marcy?" Simon said softly, stepping into the cave mouth. There, sitting around the frozen remains of monsters, was Marceline, tucking her head into her knees and crying softly.

"Marceline... it's me, Simon. Remember? It's time to come back to our camp..."

Marceline lifted her head up. To Simon's shock and horror, the crown was perched on Marceline's head, and instead of her short, midnight black hair, her hair reached her mid-back and was snow-white. Droplets of ice rolled down her cheeks and fell to the cave floor, where they shattered.

"I-I- had to, Simon..." she sniffled, "-they were going to kill me..."

Simon gulped, "Marceline, it's not to late..."

"Yes it is..." she snapped back at him, "-you said yourself the crown might affect kid's worse than grownups... it's too late for me... when I try to take it off, I just freeze up and I can't do it!"

Simon paced over to her, grabbing her crown. She screamed at him, extending her demon claws and raking them across his chest. Simon fell back with a gasp.

"IT'S MINE!" she screamed, taking to the air and flying away. Simon quickly scrambled after her, but the young girl was already flying into the morning sunset.

The white-haired man fell to his knees, crying his eyes out.

"I'm sorry, Marceline..."

* * *

Bubblegum woke up, smiling. She merrily got up, until she noticed her amulet was missing. She grasped at the empty space and let out a loud gasp.

"Looking for this...?"

Bubblegum looked behind herself, seeing Shoko sitting on her cabinet, looking guilty. In her mechanical claw she held Bubblegum's amulet.

"Shoko, what are you doing?" Bubblegum asked, confused.

A tear rolled down Shoko's cheek. She explained everything to Bubblegum, how she was hired to steal the amulet, and how the Bath Boy Gang would kill her is she turned back.

Bubblegum patted the crying thief on her back, "It's okay, Shoko... but... why didn't you leave?"

Shoko sniffled, "I- I couldn't do that to you, Bubblegum... I love you."

Bubblegum's cheeks turned a brighter shade of pink. Shoko's cheeks turned a darker green and she continued, "You're the only person whose ever showed me any kindness... and even in the short time that I've known you, I know that I love you, Bubblegum..."

Bubblegum smiled, pulling in the green girl for a kiss. When they pulled apart, Bubblegum smiled at her, "I love you too, Shoko. And don't worry... they won't find you."

Shoko, still flabbergasted from the kiss, could only stutter, "Wha?"

Bubblegum nodded, "We'll run away together."

"But... what about you're kingdom?"

Bubblegum tapped her foot against the ground, stroking her chin, "Hmm... that is a tough pickle... I got it!"

* * *

In under three hours, Bubblegum had already prepared a large tube, a yellow liquid bubbling from within.

"What's this?" asked Shoko, looking into the tube with her new girlfriend.

"It isn't large enough to see, but it's a clone." answered Bubblegum, "-that's why I asked you for a sample of your DNA. I spliced our genes together to create an heir to rule my kingdom."

"But... why?"

Bubblegum placed her hand on Shoko's shoulder, "Shoko, I felt inclined to build a whole kingdom because I was lonely... I could never find something... that was love. You made me realize I was a lesbian, and that's why I couldn't find it with Creampuff. And I won't let those Bath Boys steal you from me. We'll go on the run and become thieves."

Shoko smiled happily, hugging Bubblegum. She pulled away, however, and looked at her with worried eyes, "But... who will finish construction while the clone is growing, and who will take care of the clone?"

Bubblegum smiled brightly, "I know a wise old man named Simon Petrikov who'll handle it and raise the clone... hey, by the way! I have something for you!"

Bubblegum pulled a needle. Shoko looked to the side uncomfortably, "What is that for...?"

"Your DNA!" explained Bubblegum, "-with it, you can add candy mass to your body and retain your youth, just like I do."

Shoko bit her bottom lip, "Jeez, I dunno..."

Bubblegum sighed, "Alright... but promise you'll think about it, alright?"

Shoko gave PB a smooch, "I promise, my princess..."

* * *

A wrinkled blue man strolled through the forest, leaning on his cane. He wore a neat, blue suit and wore a black hat over his balding head.

He walked over to a bush, smiling from under his neat, white beard before plucking a few flowers from the shrub. He placed them in a basket he was carrying.

"That should be enough herbs to make that new medicine..." he mumbled to himself after checking through the inventory of his basket, returning on the path home.

He stopped mid-step when he heard soft-crying from a twist in the path ahead. Deciding to investigate, the man rounded the corner, and gasped at the sight he saw.

A young boy, wrapped up in blankets. The old man picked him up, "Hey, little fella. What are you doing out here?"

The boy cooed in response. Simon carefully took off the boy's bear hat, and gasped upon what he saw... a mess of golden blond hair spilling out.

The old man cradled the boy in one arm, adjusting his glasses. He looked down at the baby with a light chuckle, "Come on Simon, you're losing it. This baby can't be human, can it?"

The boy laughed, tugging at the end of his beard. Simon smiled a bit, "I guess you are. Well, I can't just leave you out here alone, now can I?"

The baby smiled, placing the end of Simon's beard into his mouth, sucking on the white hairs. Simon smiled softly and looked at a tag inside the boy's bear hat... it read 'Finn'.

"Finn, huh?" Simon said to the drooling infant, placing the hat back on his head. The baby laughed and cooed, wiggling around his chubby little arms and legs.

Simon held the baby to his chest, "I won't let you go, Finn. I won't let you go like I let poor Marceline go..."


	2. Simon the Doctor

**OK, so, not to be racist, but I'm pretty sure Shoko is Chinese. Not just from the sound of her name, there's also the fact she rides on a white tiger. Anyway, since her and Pb's clone rules the Candy Kingdom in this story, the Candy Castle and Banana Guards have a medieval Chinese influence behind them. *EDIT* OK, so I've been informed that Shoko is actually Japanese. I actually did 2 seconds of research, and found that Shoko was a Japanese name, and one of my readers, 'Just a normal reader' informed that there was a kanji symbol behind her in 'The Vault'. But, again, the white tiger is a heavy Chinese symbol, so I'll just go out on a limb here and say she might be a Chinese/Japanese mix... not that she's even human. Hell, let's just say Eastern Asia was entirely mutated into some mixed culture from the Mushroom War, and Shoko was a product from those mutants. But, for all intents and purposes, I'll now be referring to the Candy Kingdom having a Japanese background.  
**

* * *

"Simon, we have a house call in the Candy Kingdom."

Simon looked up from his novel to see his adoptive son and assistant, Finn, standing at the doorway. Finn was 16 at this point. He wore a light blue shirt, black jeans, and a refitted version of his bear hat, allowing some of his blond hair to peak out. He had decent muscle mass, due to his job protecting Simon and himself when they had a house call or went gathering medicinal pants and herbs in a dangerous land.

Simon smiled, "Who is it?"

"Starchy. He has a nasty flu."

Simon closed the book up, "OK than, lets go see if we can fix him up."

* * *

Simon and his young apprentice walked through the plains, on their way to the Candy Kingdom. Finn looked over at his adoptive father, "Simon, what made you become a doctor...?"

Simon sighed, "My old wife, Betty, was a doctor. I was actually an archaeologist... but that's all in the past. I had a desire to help people, so I studied my fiance's old books and became a doctor."

Finn smiled, tugging the straps on his green back-pack, "Oh... sorry about making you bring up Betty again..."

"It's fine." responded Simon.

Simon and Finn eventually reached the Candy Kingdom, where the Banana Guards let them in.

The Banana Guards, as opposed to Bubblegum's original planned design, were based off the Japanese warriors of old, wearing samurai armor and having katanas slung at their sides.

"Welcome." greeted a Banana Guard. He opened the gates, and Finn and Simon walked in. While the Candy Kingdom itself didn't receive to many modifications, the castle defiantly went through some changes. It was heavily designed after a Japanese Castle, and at the huge doors leading inside, their was a an ancient symbol that read, 'Sweet'. Peaking up from the center of the castle was a gargantuan cherry blossom tree.

The doors swung open, and their was the Candy Princess, Pinyin Bubblegum. She wore a traditional, reddish pink Japanese Princess dress, and she wore a lollipop designed crown. Her skin was pink, and her eyes were yellow and cat-like. She had her midnight black-hair typed back into a bun.

"Dr. Petrikov, it's so nice to see you again!" she said with a cheery smile and respectful bow.

"Good to see you too, Pinyin." responded Simon. The old blue man looked back at Finn, "Finn, could you hand me the medicine?"

Finn reached into his backpack and pulled out the medicine, handing it to Simon. The apocalypse survivor smiled, "Thank you, Finn. After I'm through taking care of Starchy, you're free to take the rest of the day off while I catch up with Pinyin."

Finn smiled brightly, "Ah, thanks, Simon! Catch ya later!"

Finn turned and ran off. He eventually slowed down when he realized he had really no where to go... sure, being the assistant and body-guard of the most talented doctor in Ooo and helping so many sick and injured people, he had made many friends. He just couldn't think of who to go and hang out with.

While thinking this, he zoned out and unwittingly walked into an alleyway. Their, two punks watched from the shadows.

"Yo," shouted one of them in a shrill, feminine voice, snapping Finn out of his trance, "-give us 'yer wallet, and we won't hurt 'ya!"

The man stepped out of the shadows, brandishing a knife. Finn couldn't help but snicker. The man was just so short and such a high-pitched-voice... and that silly little peach fuzz and ridiculous hair-cut didn't exactly help.

"You're joking, right?" asked Finn, reaching into his back pocket.

"I don't joke... and if you want a knife fight, then that's what you're going to get!" said the blue punk as Finn pulled out a black sword handle. The human clicked a button at the side and with crystal magic, a razor-sharp, deep blue crystal blade popped out of the handle.

A bead of sweat rolled down the diminutive mugger's forehead, "Uh... that's a big switch ya got there, guy..."

"Step back, Tiffany. You can't handle this guy." said the second punk from the shadows.

"Come on, I can take him..."

The second mugger took the cigarette out from his mouth and threw it out of the shadows, "No, you can't. Step back and let me handle it."

Tiffany obeyed, stepping to the side with a sigh. A yellow paw stepped out from the shadows, landing on the cigarette and grinding into the tobacco roll. A yellow bulldog fully revealed himself.

"'Sup?" said the bulldog to Finn, "-unless you have a pain fetish, I'd suggest throwing down that crystal sword and whatever possessions of monetary value you have on your person and turn tail... ya dig?"

The human smirked, "No thanks."

The dog cracked his paws, "Fine, your grave. Name's Jake the Dog. What's yours?"

"Finn the Human." responded the young man.

Jake raised his fist, expanding it to a large size, but he was interrupted by a knife implanting in his shoulder. The dog stumbled back, gasping in pain.

"You should've stayed in school, kid." said a voice from above. All three young man in the alley looked up to see a small figure standing at the edge of one of the buildings that comprised the alley.

He was a dark-gray, magic dog, about the same size as Jake. He had slung a large battle-ax on his back, and his red head-band flapped in the breeze. His right eye was missing, and a large scar ran across his chest.

"Its... Lace!"

Lace, the dog and former partner of Billy. He smirked, exposing his fangs,"Well, what's your next move, boys?"

Jake dropped to his knees, as did Tiffany. They knew they had literally no chance against the legendary canine.

He dropped down, "Good choice, punks. What's your name, human?"

Finn looked surprised, "Oh, uh... Finn, sir."

Lace smiled, "Good name. Well, you'd best be on your way, civilian. I'll take these two to the slammer where they belong."

Finn nodded, "OK... it was an honor to meet you, sir!"

The human ran off, smiling to himself. Lace was a legendary hero, but not as legendary as his deceased partner, Billy. Finn heard a story about how Lace was going to give his own life to seal away the infamous Lich, but before he could, Billy pulled Lich into a full nelson and made his gauntlet self-destruct, killing the evil entity for good, but at the cost of his own life.

Lace was a magic-dog, and had a longer life span than normal, but he had obtained internal youth in order to protect Ooo in the memory of his old friend.

Finn, having zoned out thinking about Lace, suddenly found himself in the middle of the plains. Not having much else to do, he walked north, until he found a frozen area.

"The Ice Kingdom?" Finn pondered to himself. He heard that the Ice Kingdom was totally uninhabited, but rumor has it, that a cursed banshee lives there, freezing anyone who comes near... of course, Finn thought of these rumors of nothing more than groundless stories.

But than again, Simon gets edgy every time the subject of the frozen wasteland comes up, and Simon was very wise...

His thoughts were interrupted by the soft singing of a woman. It sounded angelic, yet so... melancholy.

Finn looked over the icy hills, releasing that the singing must be echoing of the hills.

'_Could it be the banshee...?' _Finn thought to himself, _'Na... banshees are suppose to have harsh, shrill voices... this is a snow angel, if anything.' _

Finn pulled out a navy blue sweater out from his pack and put in on, walking through the icy hills until he reached a strange cave.

The cave's mouth was shaped like a monster's head, and it's icicle teeth looked like they were so big and sharp they could tear through his flesh like it was wet paper. But, hearing the soft singing emanating from within, Finn ignored the ominous sight and walked into it's gaping maw.

Inside the cave, more similarly threatening icicles clung to the ceiling. The cavern inside looked like it had once had a river flowing through it, but it had long since frozen over. What looked like what used to be another mouth to the cave was blocked by a large wall of ice.

Beside that wall of ice was a quaint little purple house. When Finn stepped a few feet forward, he heard that sweet voice from behind him, except it was now laced with venom.

"Who dares enter the domain of Marceline, the Frost Queen?!"

Finn spun around and gasped. Their floated a teenage girl with pale, blue skin. She wore a blue dress and had a golden, ruby-studded crown on her head. Her hands shimmered with icy power, and her eyes were trimmed with sadness, pain, and insanity... one of her pupils was blood red, the other dark blue.

"Whoa! I don't want any trouble!" said Finn, his hands raised defensively.

"Well, you found it!" shouted the Queen, blasting the intruder with her ice powers and freezing him to the spot.

The Queen floated in front of the frozen teen, a wicked grin crossing her face, "Hmm... now, whatever should I do with you, cutie~?"

* * *

**To anyone wondering why I would name Billy's magic dog Lace, it's because Billy's name comes from an anti-war song by 'Paper Lace'.**


	3. A Heart Thawed

Jake and Tiffany stood in front of their bosses' desk. His office was a luxiorous room with exotic animal skins, a large personal library, and even a lavish hot-tub nestled in one corner. Their boss sat in a black leather chair behind his mahogany desk.

"Tssk, tssk, boys..." said their boss, "-this is the 13th time this month my men have been incarcerated by that foul mutt... 13 is an unlucky numbah, you know. But, I digress. I only bailed you two out because I have a very _special _mission for you both..."

Jake gulped, "Er... anything you want, Father Goose..."

The chair spun around, and sitting their, legs flailing wildly, laughing like a madman, was a white goose with a classic mafia suit and beret with a green feather sticking out the side.

"Fantasto!" he shouted. Jake and Tiffany looked between each other... they were in for it now.

* * *

It was an average night at the Ooo of natural history... completely dark, no forms of life save for the occasional passing by of an aged security guard shining his flashlight about.

Save for a slim, feminine figure descending from a glass pane in the roof by a cord. She wore a pitch-black suit, and a metal claw grabbing onto her back lowered her further down to a case with surrounding a fat diamond.

The figure's pink brows narrowed in concentration. Her pink eyes glistened as she lifted her sleeve, exposing her pink wrist and a bulky, chrome watch. But it wasn't for telling time.

She pressed a button at the side and the watch sprayed a light mist around the case, exposing a net of lasers around the case. She couldn't tell whether or not they would trip an alarm or burn her... she wouldn't touch them either way.

She shot a laser of her own at the case, cutting a neat circle. The thief then lifted up her finger tip, a suction cup popping out at the end. She placed it on the glass, lifting the glass out of the new hole and placing it within.

Now, all that was lift was the diamond. She carefully avoided the lasers and stuck her hand within the case, grabbing the large gem and pulling it out.

She tucked the diamond away in a pouch at her side, then tugged on the cord keeping her suspended. It hoisted her back up at a decent pace.

When she was back on the roof, Bubblegum pulled off her mask, giving her bubblegum ponytail a toss and wiping the sweat form her forehead. She smiled at her partner and lover, who was busy clicking her mechanical claw back into place.

Shoko smiled up at her wife, sitting up and planting a kiss on her lips. Shoko wrapped her green arm around her wife's waist and ran to the edge of the roof, before a knife implanted near Shoko's foot.

The thieving ladies heads turned towards where the knife had come from. Of course, it was Lace.

Lace folded his arms over his chest, "It's always a pleasure to see you two lovely ladies." Bubblegum reached behind her back, "Nice to see you too, mutt..."

Lace quickly reacted, pulling out a knife, put Shoko was a step ahead. She shot her claw out, the mechanical appendage hitting his wrist and making him drop his knife. Bubblegum shot the dog with a electro-gun, shocking the dog and knocking him off the building.

* * *

Lace rolled out of the dumpster, growling in frustration. He rubbed his head, and images of the two thieving ladies flashed through his mind.

He roared in rage, punching the ground so hard his paw sunk into the grown. His eyes even flashed green for a moment, but he didn't notice.

"I HATE THOSE DYKES!" he screamed, before coming to his senses. He shook his head from side to side, "Whoa, where did that come from...?"

* * *

Finn, as he was frozen about who-knows-how-long ago, thought for sure he would be the banshee's meal.

What he didn't expect was waking up in her frosted over living room, the supposed Queen smiling cheerily at him. Finn looked down and saw that his bottom half was still encased in ice, and he was stuck to her frosted sofa.

"OK, so I've decided what to do with you." she said.

Finn's eyes darted across the room, looking for a way to escape. He let out a light chuckle, "Heh... what... what would that be, m'lady?"

A wicked grin spread across the frozen woman's face. She reached behind her back and pulled out... a video game system?

"Hello," it beeped, a face flickering on, "-my name is BMO. Are you friends with Mrs. Marceline?"

Finn looked from side to side, "Uh... guess?"

The blue woman squeeled happily, "Do you hear that, BMO!? I finally made another friend!"

BMO danced around in her opened palms as the girl spinned around in circles. Finn raised his hand, "Um... Ice Queen? Or, Frost Queen? What's your name?"

She ceased her twirling and beamed at him, "Just Marceline, is fine."

He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, "Er... well, why did you capture me?"

She smiled, placing BMO on a stool next to the couch. She plugged two controllers into the little robot and plopped down next to Finn, handing him a controler, "'Cause, it's rare to have visitors around here... I HAVEN'T HAD A FRIEND BESIDES BMO IN 50 YEARS!"

Finn leaned back, surprised by her sudden outburst. The Queen placed her face in her hands, icy tears streaming down her cheeks. Finn, not really knowing what to do, gently rubbed the Queen on her back, "Uh... it's cool, Marceline. I'll be your friend."

Her attitude took an 180 degree turn. She pulled him in for a hug, "Oh, thank you! Uh... what's your name?"

"Finn" he replied, shaking her hand. She smiled brightly, "Oh, this is so exciting!"

Finn looked down at his legs, "Uh... Marceline, can you unfreeze my legs?"

Ice Queen looked at him through narrowed eyes, "You're not just going to run away?"

Finn looked shocked, "Of course not."

Marceline smiled, "Alright, but if try to run, I'll have to kill you."

Finn laughed, believing she was joking. She snapped her fingers and the ice around his leg's disappeared into a cold mist.

"OK," said BMO, a start screen appearing on his face, "-who wants to play video games?"

* * *

Finn grunted in frustration as Marceline killed his fighter for the 14th time in a row. He looked over at her, "Jeez, Marceline, how did you get so good at this game?"

She laughed and rubbed the back of her head, "Well, there's not exactly much to do around here. Hey, you look kinda cold... let me cook you something."

Finn smiled, "No, no, that's not necessary."

Ice Queen smiled, "No, I insist. I was going to heat up some polar bear soup, we can share it."

She floated into the kitchen, taking a cauldron of frozen soup out of a pantry. She lit a small fire and put the cauldron on top, and flew back, "Well, it might take a few hours or so before it's hot... I know! Let's go try on some clothes!"

Finn, not being one who likes fashion, attempted to protest, but Marceline was already dragging up the stairs to her room. Finn sighed as the entered her room, which, like the rest of the house, was frozen over. But her bed looked huge, and it was covered in polar bear furs.

Finn took a seat on the bed. Marceline looked over at him, "OK, just wait here while I get changed... and no peaking. Or else, I'll kill you."

Finn laughed again, still not understanding that her threats of murder were entirely serious. He shook his head, "Alright, alright. I wouldn't do that to a woman, anyhow."

She floated into her closet, and after a few minutes, she floated back out, wearing a pair of blue cowboy boots, blue jeans, and a black, sleeveless shirt. Her crown was still perched on her head, though. Finn smiled, "It looks good, Marceline. Suits you much better than that blue dress."

She blushed a dark shade of blue, "Oh, stop!"

Finn gave a bright smile, "No, I'm being serious, Marcy."

Marcy laughed, "Really? Then I'll start wearing this, than! And I like that nickname, by the way."

Finn gave a cheeky grin. Even though he was brought here against his will, he was actually starting to have a good time.

* * *

After modeling a few new outfits for Finn, they went out for a snowball fight. They were outside the cave, and Finn was building up a fort.

Marceline didn't bother. Finn raised his eyebrow, "Marcy? Won't you need a fort?"

She tapped her boot against the snow, "I won't need it, but fine." She raised her hands up, a solid wall of ice surrounding her. Finn, rolling up a snowball, laughed, "Hey! That's not very fair!"

A block fell out from the impenetrable shield, and a snowball shot out at lighting fast speeds, pelting Finn in the face. He fell to his bum in surprise, then quickly scrambled up and ran away as Marceline floated over head, summoning snowballs and firing them at the human.

Finn rolled out of her line of fire, simultaneously scooping a handful of snow and rolling it up. When he was left crouched on one knee, he tossed the snowball up at Marceline, and it pelted her in the left boob.

She grabbed it and laughed in surprise, "That's it, you pervert! You're going down!"

They both faked anger and laughed like children as the snowball war extended all the way into early night. Eventually, BMO hobbled out of the cave, "Finn! Marceline! Soup is nearly ready!"

Finn rubbed his growling stomach, "I'm starving! Let's go eat!"

Marceline nodded in agreement and they walked back to her house, eager for dinner.

* * *

Finn spooned mouthfuls of polar bear soup in his mouth. He sat on a bear-skin rug, which was draped over his ice-chair. He smiled at her, "This is pretty good, Marcy."

"Thank you." she replied, eating some herself. Finn looked over at BMO, who was happy to just watch.

"So," asked Finn, "-how did you and BMO meet?"

"He wandered into my cave one day." she replied, patting BMO on the head. He giggled and kicked his tiny legs.

"And-" Finn asked another question, "-how long have you been living here by yourself, Marceline?"

She sighed, "About a thousand years... pretty sad, huh?"

Finn frowned, "I'm sorry. You must get terribly lonely."

Marceline sighed, "Yeah... hey, why did you come to my kingdom, anyway?"

"I heard you singing." replied Finn.

Marceline grinned, "You want to go play some music with me?!"

Finn returned the grin, and the two rushed up the stairs to jam.

* * *

Marceline set her ax bass down, Finn putting down his mic. Marceline pulled him in for another hug, and Finn could feel icy-cold tears splash against his shoulder.

"Thank you, Finn... you're the first friend I've had in 50 years..."

Finn gripped her tightly, "You're welcome, Marcy... well, I should probably be getting home by now. Simon is going to be pissed if I'm out too late."

Finn turned to leave, but Marcy gasped in surprise and grabbed his wrist, "No! Please, don't leave!"

Finn turned to face her, "Look, Marceline, I wouldn't leave you... but friends trust each other, right? Well, if we're real friends, then you'll trust me to return."

Marceline sniffled, "You swear?"

Finn placed his hand over his heart, "I swear. I'll be here tomorrow, around lunch time. I'll bring something for us to eat."

Marceline frowned a bit, "Wait, Finn... you can't tell anyone about me."

Finn looked confused, "Why not?"

She sighed, "I'm not well liked, as you can imagine. They think I'm some kind of banshee. Just... please, I'd prefer it if I could just live here in solitude. Please?"

Finn interlocked fingers with her, "Pinkie promise."

She planted a kiss on his cheek, making the human blush. She winked at him, "Well, see you tomorrow."

* * *

Simon strode back and forth in his quaint little living room, inside of his humble little cabin. He looked over to an antique grandfather clock and tapped his foot against the ground, "It's mid-night, and Finn still hasn't returned..."

Simon gulped. What if something had happened to him?

"I won't lose you, Finn..." he muttered, quickly pacing into his office and grabbing a revolver from his drawer, "-not like I lost Marceline..."

Suddenly, the front door opened. Finn was standing there, his nose red and runny.

"Finn, where have you been?!" screamed Simon.

Finn rubbed the back of his head, "Well... uh... some fluffy people were in trouble... cause a dragon ate them! And I had to chase it down and slice open his belly to free them."

Simon adjusted his glasses, "Is that really the story you're going with?"

Finn sighed, "Uh... it's a girl..."

Simon pressed his finger against his adopted son's lips, "Shh... I know about young love. I was in love once too, you know. Just bring her over when you're ready for me to meet her."

Finn blushed, "No! She's just a friend..."

Simon smiled from ear-to-ear, "That's what they all say..."


	4. Developments

Finn merrily got out of bed, walking into the kitchen for some of Simon's pancakes.

His adopted father smiled at him, "Someones in a good mood today..."

A blush spread across Finn's cheeks, "Jeez, Simon..."

Simon chuckled a bit, placing a plate of steaming pancakes in front of the human teen. Finn drenched the flapjacks in syrup before his adoptive father shot another question at him, "So, are you going to go visit your 'friend' today?"

Finn shoved a whole pancake in his mouth, "I'm not listening!" he mumbled through the sugary breakfast.

Simon sat down next to his son, flipping open a newspaper and picking up his coffee. He grunted as he read the headline.

"What's wrong, Simon?" asked Finn as he swallowed another mouthful of pancake.

"It's those 'Immortal Thieves'... they've stolen another jewel."

Finn looked over at Simon as he stroked his beard and muttered something under his breath. Finn ignored it and finished his breakfast. He was just grabbing his backpack when he heard Simon's phone ring.

The old man answered it, "Hello? Oh, hello, Pinyin. Yes, yes, I've heard. Yes, I'm very disappointed in them both. Oh, you need it right away? It's an emergency? Alright, I'll send Finn right over."

Simon quickly went over to his medical cabinet, pulled out a red vial, and stopped Finn as he was about to exit the door.

"Finn, I need you to deliver this blood-transplant to Pinyin right away. She said that a goblin cut his leg very badly, and he was losing blood fast. Of course, you'd reach the Candy Kingdom faster than I would."

Finn groaned, snatching the medicine, "Alright, I'll do it..."

* * *

Pinyin knelt by her personal garden, carefully trimming the beautiful flowers. The tranquil peace was interrupted when Finn walked in, sweating bullets.

Pinyin turned and smiled cheerily at him, "Finn! I'm glad you could come."

He shoved his hand in his pocket, looted around, and pulled out a vial of red fluid. He quickly shoved it into her hands, "There! Now excuse me, I have to go!"

Finn turned to flee, but he felt a soft hand grab his shoulder, "Wait, Finn... we need to talk..."

Finn turned and puffed, "Please, make it quick! I have somewhere to be!"

Pinyin giggled a bit, "Oh yes, your girlfriend. Simon has told me about her."

Finn groaned, "C'mon! It was only last night I met her! Besides, she's just a friend."

Pinyin sighed, "Don't try to lie, Finn. It seems I've waited for too long... I'll just have to claim you as my own right now."

Finn raised an eyebrow, "Princess, what are you talking about?"

Without a word, Pinyin slipped off her pink robes, revealing her nude body to Finn. The human teen turned totally red. Pinyin undead the bun in her hair, letting the ebony locks flow down her smooth back. She looked back up at Finn, "Don't be embarrassed, Finn... come, make love with me, and be my husband."

Finn grabbed the sides of his head, "Gob it, Pinyin! I can't do that! It's not right!"

Pinyin pressed herself up against Finn, rubbing his chest, "Why not? I thought she wasn't your girlfriend?"

Finn pushed her away, "I don't see you like that! And... I've made a promise! I'm sorry, but I can't do that with you! Goodbye!"

Pinyin placed her clothing back on with a huff, watching Finn dash away. She grimaced, "We'll see who you end up with in the end, Finn..."

* * *

Marceline sat on her porch with BMO. She irritatedly kicked her feet out, "BMO, what time is it?"

The little robot checked his internal clock, "Uhh... it's 5 minutes 'till lunch time!"

Marceline sighed, looking towards the mouth of her cave. She was about to abandon hope, when Finn burst in, sliding on the ice over to her. In his arms, he held a steaming, brown bag.

"He- Hey, Marcy." he said between puffs of breath. He was red in the face, and obviously had to run.

The Frost Queen frowned, placing her hands on her hips, "Where have you been, Finn? And why did you have to run here?"

"So-Sorry, Marcy. I had to run a surprise errand, but I'm cool now. Here, I even managed to bring lunch, like I promised."

She instantly forgave Finn when she smelled the heavenly aroma coming from the bag, "Oh, Finn, it smells amazing! What is it?"

Finn smiled, "Meatloaf! Donny's meatloaf, to be exact. He's a grass ogre, and runs the best diner in Ooo. Let's go there for lunch some other day. If, you feel comfortable being around others, that is."

Marceline smiled, grabbing Finn by the wrist. A light blush spread across his face as she floated back into her house, dragging the human along inside, "C'mon! Let's eat quick, I've got lots of fun things planned!"

"Ah, young love..." BMO beamed happily, following the two back indoors.

* * *

Jake and Tiffany walked into the tavern, taking a look around. Through the thick smoke and crowd of drunken and/or rowdy patrons, they spotted a large flame sitting by himself. Said flame was round in shape, and had a pair of dark red eyes right above his mouth, which one would assume to be his face. He wore assumingly fire-retardant black leather pants, boots, and a biker jacket.

Jake and Tiffany went to go sit with him, "You Inferno?" asked Jake.

The fire-elemental quickly turned around, showing the boys the back of his jacket. He jammed his thumb at the words sewn across in red cursive, "That's The Inferno to you, kid."

Jake scoffed, "That's pretty dumb."

The firey man scoffed, "Hey, it's the most badass thing I can think of. Besides, I used to be the Fire King."

"That has nothing to do with anything." inserted Tiffany. Inferno went on, "Whatever. You boys are with Father Goose, right? I have the stuff around back."

Jake and Tiffany walked around back, where there was a bored looking fire-girl leaning against the brick wall. She wore something similar to the man, giving her the appearance of a biker chick.

"Ember, honey, do you have Daddy's stuff?" said the flaming man.

"What, is it bring your daughter to work day?" quipped Jake.

Ember growled and kicked a metal box over at them. Tiffany pulled out a knife and undid the lock. When the box flipped open, he pulled out a brown package.

"OK," said Jake, "-be careful with that shizz, Tiff. It's probably the only kind of it's drug in existence, and if we can bring it back to base to reverse-engineer it, it could mean big bucks all around."

Tiffany nodded, "Yeah... and if we don't bring it back, the boss will cut off our asses and mount them above his fire-place."

The fire-elemental coughed, "-well, where's the dough?"

Jake stuck his hand into his gelatinous belly, pulling out a small bag of coins. Jake tossed it at the fire-elemental, who quickly tucked it into his pocket to avoid melting the cash.

"Pleasure doing business with you, boys..." said Inferno with a smile, before he and his daughter turned and walked off.


	5. Dark Night

In Pinyin's pink, luxurious room. She opened up her diary, watching the flickering candlelight dance against the pale yellow pages. She carefully picked up her quill, held back her puffy sleeve with her free hand, and began writing,

_July 25, 3034_

_Dear diary, my old friend and mentor, Simon, alerted me to a shocking development: my beloved Finn, his adopted son, is in love with another woman. I felt no need to claim him, when I first met him, that is. He was so young and innocent, and thought of me as a sister, since we were both raised by the same man. But as he matured into a powerful, responsible young man, I began to find myself helplessly infatuated with him. I even admit to having quite a few dreams of passion between he and I. But, I'm not giving up so easily... I might send Lemongrab to see just who this woman is_

Her writing ceased when she heard a tapping at her window. The pink princess growled, instantly knowing who it was.

She looked out to her balcony, where a pink woman in a black suit stood, waiting, her hands on her hips. She smiled brightly at Pinyin, "Sweety! How have you-"

"Save it. No matter how many jewels you bring me, you can't buy my love." inserted Pinyin bitterly.

Bubblegum sighed, "Pinyin, you know it wasn't safe for Shoko and I to come back to the kingdom while all those gangs were out and about... they were out for her head, if we had settled down it would have doomed my kingdom..."

Pinyin growled, "What?! This kingdom is _mine_. You merely laid the foundations; I was the one who led the people through thick and thin! I was the one who suffered through 200 years of loneliness and stress before I even met my parents, who were out stealing and living like fat kings!"

Tears shown in Bubblegum's eyes, "I- I'm sorry again, Pinyin. I just wanted you to know that Shoko and I both love you very much, and we hope that you'll forgive us one day..."

Bonnie placed a corpulent diamond on the balcony's edge, before she jumped off. Pinyin scooped up the diamond, staring into it's radiant surface. Small tears fell upon it's mirror-like surface.

* * *

About a week later, Finn and Marceline were on another date (as friends, of course,) and Finn had managed to convince her to come outside of her kingdom. She was wearing a short, blue dress, black stockings, and blue cowboy boots.

"I dunno, Finn..." she moaned, "-what if someone thinks I'm a banshee?"

Finn shrugged, "What evidence would they have of that? Trust me, everything will be alright. I'm sure whoever attacked you only thought you were an ice banshee because they just assumed the worst when they saw you."

Marceline looked down, "I don't know, Finn..."

Finn squeezed her hand for assurance, "Trust me, Marcy."

She smiled softly at him, "I trust you, Finn."

Their hands never separated, and they walked hand in hand to Donny's Diner, a chrome building in the middle of the plains, right next to a cinema, showing some sort of action movie. Like always, it was nearly packed.

"Here we are." said Finn.

Marcy bit her lip, turning around, "No... I change my mind. I don't want to be around other people."

Finn grabbed her by the shoulder, "Please, Marcy."

She tried to pull away again, but Finn quickly trapped her in a bear-hug. They both blushed vividly, until Finn mouthed, "Please?"

She smiled up at him, "OK, I'll do it."

* * *

Simon was busy at his table, chopping up some herbs, preparing a new batch of medicine. He was about to slide the chopped herbs from the cutting board into his mixing bowl when his phone rang. He picked it up and put it on his ear, "Dr. Petrikov speaking."

"Hello, Simon." said a dark tone from the other end.

Simon clenched his fingers, "What do you want?"

The man on the other end chuckled, "What? Can't I talk to an old friend? I haven't even seen you since our little deal... how's the wife, by the way...?"

Simon's breathing steadily increased. He placed his hand to his chest and continued, "Answer my question! What do you want from me?!"

The man ignored his demand and continued his taunt, "Come now, Simon. Betty is my friend; would you just allow me a word with her?"

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME BACK HERE AGAIN, PEPPERMINT!" screamed Petrikov into the phone, slamming it back on the dial.

"Temper, temper, Simon."

The old man spun around, seeing a thin, shadowy figure looming over him. He grabbed his knife from the table and thrust it at the man's throat.

The mysterious intruder caught Simon's wrist, "Watch it, Simon. You could cut someone with that."

The old man sunk to his knees as the attacker squeezed his wrist. Simon looked up, seeing the man's face- chalk white skin, small nose, beady yellow eyes, and withered white hair with a few strands of red in it, which was neatly combed to the side. It was him alright.

"What do you want, Peppermint...?" the old man sobbed, "-you've already stolen everything from me... what more could you want?!"

Peppermint smiled, "Nothing... nothing much, anyway. I've just deiced I need an heir to my throne, and came to the surface to find a suitable mate. And since I was in the neighborhood I thought, 'Why not pay a visit to my old friend Simon?'"

Simon growled, "You... sunnava bitch..."

Peppermint smiled, grabbing Simon by the collar and lifting him into the air, "Don't worry. As long as you stay out of my way, I won't hurt you... or your little son. Goodbye, Simon."

With that, Peppermint tossed Simon back into his table, disappearing in a puff of black smoke. Simon rubbed his bruised throat and swallowed his fear.

* * *

Jake and Tiffany, dripping with nervous sweat, watched as their boss flicked open a switchblade, stabbing into the packaging- and with a few insane laughs (and equally mad stabs,) the packaging was torn to ribbons, exposing an almost radiant green sludge within a plastic bag.

"Thar she blows, boys..." whispered the goose, rubbing his cheek up against the packaging, "-my ex-wife..."

Tiffany tugged at his collar, "Uh... what kind of drug is that anyway, boss?"

"Well," explained Father Goose, "-we don't have a street name for it, but it's to take a ride on the wacky elevator, boys... but, it's still in it's unrefined status. We have no idea what it could do to someone like it is now... which is why Imma test it on you two!"

The goose snapped his fingers, and like that, Jake and Tiffany's bodies both ceased up in a red light.

"How do you boys like my... Laser Trap Spell?" asked a voice from behind them.

"It... sounds... stupid..." muttered Jake through his clenched teeth.

"Thank ya kindly, Lazea Wizard." said Father Goose with a thumbs up towards a wizard with a yellow, diamond-shaped head who floated into view.

"Why...? We've been on your side since we were kids, Goose!" screamed Tiffany.

"Well," said Goose, rubbing the bottom of his beak, "-but it's also true that you guys are totally retardo and I have to bail you out of jail every five seconds. So, think of this is a way to pay that debt."

"Screw you, you crazy ass goose!" hissed Jake, unsuccessfully trying to stretch his way out of the laser trap.

Laser Wizard grabbed Tiffany, slamming him down on Goose's desk. The mobster opened up the bag, sticking in a needle and filling it with the green substance.

Tiffany, by this point, was hyperventilating, "Jake! Jake, please, help me!"

Jake tried shrinking, stretching, and growing larger, but nothing he could do would dispel his entrapment. "I'm trying, Tiff! I can't get this damn thing offa me!"

Goose chuckled, placing the needle up to Tiffany's neck, "Adios, Tiffany. I'll send your unemployment check to your next of kin."

Father Goose jammed the needle into Tiffany, causing the blue man's pupils to dilate. His hyperventilating sounded painful, and sweat was pouring off his body in buckets.

He violently coughed, "J-Jake! I-I can't... please... he-"

What happened next came as a shock to everyone in the room. Tiffany's head literally exploded, sending chunks of flesh and gray matter, along with bits of skull and a bucket of blood, all splashing over Father Goose. The mob boss just sat there, an unreadable, goofy-yet-blank expression on his face as always.

"That..." started Goose, "-was the coolest thing eva! Quick, get the mutt over here! I wanna do it on him!"

Jake began panicking as the wizard began slowly floating towards him.

'_Calm down, Jake... you have to think of something,, quick!'_ thought the dog to himself, clenching his eyes shut and clenching his teeth.

Jake then channeled his focus into his muscles, bulking them up with his stretching powers. It burned like a swarm of ants, but it was his only chance. With a might grunt, he burst out of the trap, swatting Laser Wizard into Goose's hot tub before his swollen muscles shrunk back to normal.

Jake burst towards Goose, his giant fist raised, "THIS IS FOR TIFFANY, YOU BASTARD!"

Without any visible facial reaction, Goose raised a small pistol up, popping a round into Jake's head before he could smash the mobster. The dog fell to the ground, twitching.

Laser Wizard sat up, rubbing his head. Goose turned towards him, "Leaza Wizard, take this kid for a nap..."

"What?" asked Laser Wizard, flabbergasted.

Goose sighed, "I dunno. Just go throw his corpse in a ditch somewhere."


	6. Date

Finn and Marcy walked into the diner, quickly sitting down at two free bar stools right next to each other. Donny the Grass Ogre was behind the counter, cleaning out a glass, wearing nothing but an apron. He smiled, "'Hey, Finn. Who's your girlfriend?"

"She's kind of shy... her name is Marceline the Frost Queen." answered Finn, looking over to the blushing girl.

"But she's not my girlfriend!" he stuttered suddenly, realizing what he had just said. Marceline's blush had increased further, causing Donny to laugh.

"Whatever floats your root beer, kid. What will ya be havin'?"

Finn looked over at Marceline, "Is meatloaf OK?"

Marceline smiled softly, "Yeah, that's OK..."

Donny looked back at his cook, , "Mr. Pig, we need a meatloaf for Finn and his lady friend."

Mr. Pig complied, quickly preparing a meatloaf and placing it in the oven.

Finn was about to tell Marcy about his day, but they heard a ringing bell by the door, signaling someone had entered. They heard Tree Trunks, the diner's waiter, say, "I'm sorry, but you have to leave. You know you're not allowed here!"

Finn spun around in his stool, along with Donny and Mr. Pig, staring intently at the newcomer- Don John.

"'Sup, Donny?" muttered Don John drunkenly, taking a swig of the beer in his hand. He pushed past Tree Trunks and stumbled closer to the counter, "-how 'bout we go kick some housies, like good ol' times?"

Donny gripped the counter to the point of it nearly snapping. Many patrons nervously started leaving, before Donny pointed at the flame wizard and screamed, "I'm not like that anymore, John! I've been taking anger management classes and everything!"

"Yeah!" said Mr. Pig, waddling into the room, "-get lost, you big bully!"

Marcy leaned over to Finn, "Finn, what's going on?"

"Don John and Donny used to be friends and bully everyone, but Donny left that life behind... occasionally, Don John comes in and tries to start something." explained the human.

Don John took the last swig from his bottle, then tossed it against a wall, scaring away the remaining customers, save for Finn and Marcy. Finn stood up, "Will I have to show you the way out, Don John?!"

Don John swayed from side-to-side, trying hard to keep up. He stumbled over to Finn and poked him in his chest, "I'd like to see you try, kid..."

His gaze then fell to Marcy, who was trying to shrink away. A smile broke across Don John's face, "Hey, I know who that girl is... she's the Ice Banshee!"

Tears began to form at Marcy's eyes. She looked down ashamedly, but Finn stood defensively in front of her, "She's no banshee! Sure, she's super-shy, and has a hard time making friends, but she's the sweetest, most soft-voiced, and most radical dame you'll ever have the undeserved pleasure of laying eyes on!"

Marcy's gaze went up again, her eyes sparkling from the frozen tears within them. She held her hand to her heart... it felt like it was beating out of control.

"Finn..." she whispered softly, looking upon her hero, the light from the bulb above shining on him in such a way to make him look like an angel.

Don John laughed, "Even if she isn't, I could probably foist her off as some banshee... there's a big sex market for rare creatures, you know..."

That was the final straw. Finn reared his fist back, slamming it into Don John's face. The human's punch busted John's lip, sending him stumbling back. The fire wizard quickly caught himself, charging his own fist up with fire.

Finn rushed at Don John, jumping up to knee the wizard in the face. Don smirked wickedly, slamming the ball of fire into Finn's chest, sending him flying back into the counter in front of the startled Donny.

Don John charged another fire-ball in his fist, aiming it at Finn. He laughed a bit, preparing to fire it. Finn groggily sat up, preparing to roll out of the way of the blast.

But that's when a beautiful girl with snow-white hair dashed in front of Don John, an ice-scythe in her hands. She jumped into the air, and with a mighty swing and mad yell, cut into Don John's chest.

The wizard cried out in white-hot agony, his heated blood spilling out onto the floor, steam rising up from a huge puddle of the red liquid. He looked up in horror to find Marceline looming over him, a curved ice-sword in her hand.

She grabbed onto the hilt with both hands, lifting it above her head, "One more outta do it..."

She was surprised when Finn came behind her, grabbing her wrists and pulling his body towards her own, "No, Marcy! He's not worth it!"

Finn dragged her to the floor, where she began to break out into icy tears. Finn hugged her to his chest, while Don John attempted to crawl away.

"I don't think so!" cried Tree Trunks, right behind her. The couple tied him up to a chair and bandaged his wound.

"Hello, police?" said Donny over a phone, "-we have an injured thug over her... he tried assaulting two of my favorite customers, but one managed to slice him good."

Meanwhile, on the floor, Marcy was sobbing into Finn's chest, who was sitting up, running his hand through her white hair in an attempt to calm her down.

"Shh... it's okay, Marcy..." he whispered soothingly, "-he can't hurt you anymore..."

"It's not myself I was worried about..." she whispered back, "-it was you... I thought he killed you for a second... and I... I just... snapped. I-I'm sorry, Finn... I didn't want to kill him... I-I-I..."

Finn hugged her tighter, winching a bit as she pressed against his new burns, "It's okay, Marcy... it's over now."

Marcy began calming down. Avoiding his gaze, she asked him, "Did you really mean all those things you said to Don John back there...?"

Finn smiled, "Of course I did, Marcy."

Marcy pulled away, sniffling and smiling. She gasped when she saw his chest, "Finn! You're hurt!"

He grinned sheepishly and touched the burns lightly, "s'okay... I've had wounds that make this look like a carpet burn..."

She placed her hand gently upon his burned chest, closing her eyes and softly whispering, "-let me make it better, Finn..."

A bluish-white light emerged from her palm, twirling around Finn's wound. He gasped in surprise... a soothing cold began to emanate on the burn, and it felt like the pain was slowly being drained away... until it was totally gone. Finn looked down and gasped in surprise... his burn was gone, along with all traces off it's past-existence.

"Marcy... I didn't know you had healing powers!"

She blushed blue, "Oh, it was nothing... I didn't really know I had them, either... I just placed my hand on you... and I just knew I could help you. Somehow, I knew."

They just sat there for a bit, blushing down at each other. They both subconsciously began to slowly drift towards each other...

"Hey guys, your meatloaf is ready."

They quickly pulled away, embarrassed. They stared off in the opposite direction, faces lit up like Christmas trees. Donny rubbed the back of his head, holding up a brown bag, "Heh... sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I put it in a to go bag for ya, Finn... and don't worry about payment; it's on the house."

Finn graciously accepted, "Gee, thanks, Donny. C'mon, Marcy. Let's go... you wanna see a movie? The cinema is right next door."

"That sounds nice, Finn."

He stood, and she floated up. They exited the diner, Donny watching them leave with his arms folded.

"Y'know," he said to Mr. Pig and Tree Trunks, "-they kinda remind me of you two, when you first met."

* * *

Finn and Marcy flew out of the cinema, both laughing maniacally. Finn looked up at her, "Man, did you remember when that bad guy drove his car straight into that vat and got dunked in acid!?"

Marcy laughed back, "-or when the cop shot that stupid robot with that huge rifle?!"

Finn went on, "-or when the cop shot that corporate dude straight out of the skyscraper?! Man, I'm glad we decided to watch that instead of some sucky romance about sparkly vampires."

"Yeah," agreed Marceline, "-what's so great about Vampires anyway?"

"I dunno." said Finn, watching the plains below pass by as he flew Air Marcy. Suddenly, it donned on him that his father might be concerned where he is. He quickly pulled out his phone and dialed in his home number, "Simon?"

"Yes? Who-who is it?" asked a nervous voice from the other end.

"It's me, Finn! Why do you sound so nervous?"

"Oh... uh, no reason."

"Well, do you mind if I stay at a friend's house for the night?"

"Yeah, knock yourself out... just... be careful, OK?"

"Alright... by, Simon."

Finn hung up, "That's weird. Simon doesn't seem right..."

"Hmm... Simon..." Marceline muttered, her eyes closed, "-something seems familiar about that name... but I just can't put my finger on it."

Finn smiled, "I'm sure it'll come to you eventually."

* * *

Pinyin walked down a long, winding stair-case, a torch in her hand casting the light for her to see the path.

She reached a long hallway, which led to a rusted door. She slowly walked over, and the only sounds heard where her footsteps against the cold stone underneath.

She reached the door, where she pushed it open. The room inside was extremely messy, and dangerously sharp weapons were scattered to and fro.

She looked to the corner, where a yellow man with a sharp nose was laying in bed and tossing a small sword into the air, letting it fall back before catching it by the business end, then tossing it back up.

"What do you want, Pinyin?" said the man, "-you just sent me on an assassination a week ago... don't I get a little down time?"

"I'm sorry, Lemongrab," she said, "-but I need you to do something else... do you know of Finn the Human?"

"I am."

"Good... I need you to follow him around... he has a girlfriend. I want you to learn who this woman is... and I want you to kill her."

A wicked smirk appeared across the yellow man's face. He sat up, exposing his rigid, compact muscles and battle-scarred chest. He stood, his crazed smirk transforming into a grin, "Alright, I'll do it... but how many times do I have to tell you, Princess...? It's not Lemongarb..."

He twirled a black cloth around his body, until he was garbed in a pitch-black suit, "-it's Lemon Ninja!"

* * *

**Who can guess what movies Finn and Marcy were talking about?**


	7. The Right Thing

Finn walked along the path back home, smiling happily. He was so proud of Marcy; he would have to ask her to come meet Simon next time he met up with her.

Finn's train of thought was interrupted when he saw a blue and yellow figure floating over a ditch, a fuzzy yellow object over his shoulder. Finn was curious, so he paced over to a rock, squatting behind and peaking over to see what the floating man would do next.

The diamond-headed man unceremoniously heaved the yellow thing into the ditch, wiping his hands on his pants. The figure turned back around and flew away at a high speed, apparently eager to leave.

Finn jogged over to the ditch, taking a peak inside. '_Huh,' _the young man thought to himself, '_-I wonder what that thing is?'_

That's when he noticed that the thing had a tail, as well as a full set of both arms and legs. The young human gasped as he saw blood flow from where it's face would be... that thing is a dog!

Finn jumped down into the ditch, turning the dog over on it's back. The first thing the human noticed was that there was a fresh wound on the dog's upper forehead, still oozing blood. The second thing he realized was that the dog looked awfully familiar...

"Hold on a sec..." Finn thought aloud to himself, "-this was the dog that tried to mug me right before I met Marceline!"

Finn stared down at the dog, waging an internal moral battle. Should he help it? If the dog did heal up, would he just go back to hurting more people?

Finn looked back down at the dog, watching it's tongue hand out from the side of it's mouth. He just looked so... helpless. Finn squeezed his eyes shut, unable to make a choice.

"C'mon, Finn... what would your old man do?" he said aloud, rising to his feet with the dog in his arms.

Finn set the dog back down again... only to rip off his sleeve, quickly wrapping it around the bull dog's wound. He picked the yellow canine back up again, sprinting up the ditch, and back to his home.

* * *

The Inferno, as the former Flame King liked to be called, paced around the smashed up candy bank, before impatiently kicking a burned corpse of a Banana Guard. He spun around to the vault, where his daughter was was leaning impatiently next to the opened hatch. Inside the vault, an odd-looking metallic creature somewhat resembling a knight was stuffing cash into several bags."

"Could you hurry up, Bucket Knight?! The fuzz will be here any minute!" complained the ex-tyrant.

"I'm going as fast as I can... it might be quicker if you helped... oh wait, that's right! You can't! You'd burn it all up! What are you concerned about anyway? Your daughter is a beast; she wiped out the first wave of guards like they were nothing!"

"It's not the regular guards he's concerned about..." rang out a young voice, coming from seemingly nowhere.

"YES, FOR WE ARE NO REGULAR WARRIORS..." added a metallic voice, coming from a cylindrical figure from the shadows.

A wall smashed in, but the dust that was kicked up from the smashed bricks cloaked the round figure standing there. "Yeah, we're the Candy Kingdom's special defense force..." he said in a rather dumb-sounding voice.

A shadowy man fell from the roof, landing on one knee, staying in that crouched position. He was wearing a pitch-black ninja suit, save for the brown sandels... however, his mask did reveal some of his yellow face, and just a bit of brown hair.

The ninja, still crouched down on his right knee, spread his arms out like an eagle taking flight. "My name is Braco the Ninja!" he boldly declared.

The figure standing in the shadowy corner of the bank jumped right behind Braco- he was an upside down gumball machine with thin arms and legs, wearing a samurai helmet A glinting katana hung proudly at his side. He spread his feet out, pumping his arms into the air repeated times before twisting his upper half to the side, one arm cocked back and the other pointed straight up, all of his fingers outstretched, "I'M RATTLEBALLS... THE ROBOTIC SAMURAI OF JUSTICE!"

To complete the pose, the figure who had busted through the wall rolled in right beside Rattleballs. He was a cinnamon bun with a small, black ponytail. He wore the traditional sumo wrestler's belt- a mawashi, which the common mutant could easily mistake a diaper. The bun lifted one stubby leg up, cocked one arm at his side, and lifted his other fist into the air, "And I'm Cinnamon Bun, the super sumo!"

"And we..." rang out the trio in unison, "-are the Sweet Three! Defenders of all that is good and sugary!"

They held there pose awkwardly and silently, even after their imagined explosion in the background. Inferna was at a loss for words. She pointed a finger at them, "... are you guys for real?"

Braco sighed, "Great, another crook who just doesn't appreciate the fine art of posing!"

The trio got out of the pose, and Rattleballs turned to Braco, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND... ALL OF US EXACUTED POSE ALPHA WITH FINESSE! THEY SHOULD BE QUIVERING IN THEIR BOOTS RIGHT NOW..."

Braco rubbed his chin, "Yeah, that is a conundrum... I'll guess we'll just have to rough 'em up!"

Inferno charged a fireball on his palm, "You idiot's are dead..."

Cinnamon Bun turned to the heated up crook, "Sir, would you please just wait a few more moments?"

"Oh, okay." said the ex-king. He turned back around, hissing as loud as he could to Bucket Knight and his embarrassed daughter, "... this is a good chance to grab the loot and leave..."

After deciding to discuss what went wrong with the pose later, the trio turned back to the crooks. Braco turned to his robotic comrade, "Rattleballs, what do your sensors say about their power rankings?"

Rattleballs cast his keen eyes over the confused crooks. After a few beeping sounds, he came to a conclusion, "THE ARMORED ONE RANKS AT A LOW-C... THE OLDER, MALE FIRE ELEMENTAL RANKS AT A MID-B..."

Rattleballs spit a gumball out onto his palm, before angrily crushing it, "... AND THE GIRL RANKS OVER AN UPPER-B!"

Braco and Cinnamon Bun stared blankly at their robot friend. Braco finally went on, "So... a Low-A?"

"INDEED." responded the gumball machine.

Braco smirked from under his ninja mask, "Groovy. We're all Low-A's, so we shouldn't have any problems."

They spun back around, only to find that the crooks had long departed.

"Well, that's just rude." said Cinnamon Bun.

* * *

Inferna, her father, and Bucket Knight ran through the streets of the Candy Kingdom, knocking down any sweet person foolish enough to stay in their way.

The former king broke out into a mad grin when he saw the gates of the kingdom up ahead. But he suddenly cried out as he felt something wrap around his ankles, tripping up the flaming crook and soaring through the air before landing flat on his face, sliding across the ground.

The ex-Flame Princess gasped and looked back with Bucket Knight, seeing Braco perched upon the top of a short building. He pulled out a small, curved knife, "I'll give you one chance to surrender!"

Licking flames danced around the girl's body. She lifted her hands up, making a 'come at me' motion. But Bucket Knight pushed past the girl, unaffected by the fire because of his hard shell. He pointed up at Braco, "Why don't you try to pick on someone your own size instead of a little girl?"

Braco responded by tossing his knife up into the air, jumping up after it and grabbing a tight hold around it, before diving back down again, knife raised. Bucket Knight's eyes widened in surprise, and he lifted up his forearm to block the slash.

All Inferna saw was a bright flash as Braco slid across the ground behind Bucket Knight, his knife snapped in half. She looked back at Bucket Knight, who had a wide smirk across his face, "Was that all you have, kid?"

"Darn," said Braco, not sounding to angry. He lifted up his shattered blade to inspect it, "-I have to admit, you have a pretty tough hide... you know, there's a downside to having armor for flesh."

"And what's that?" asked Bucket Knight sarcastically.

Braco pointed down to the ground at Bucket Knight's side, where the armored creature looked down and shrieked. His arm from the elbow down was chopped off, and laying at the ground by his feet.

"-you can't feel things very well, even intense pain." explained the ninja.

Bucket Knight was freaking out, squatting to one knee and desperately trying to place his arm back where it belonged in a frenzied hysteria.

Braco folded his arms over his chest, "I tried to give you a chance to surrender, but you wouldn't take it! I hope this teaches you a lesson."

Bucket Knight growled, pulling out a large canteen of water. He bit off the cork, and with a mad cackle, he began pouring it over his head.

"Just add water..." he muttered under his breath, "-AND INSTANT GROWTH!" he screamed, his body expanding to huge proportions.

The gigantic knight raised his fist up, preparing to slam it down on Braco. However, before the blow came (which Braco could have easily dodged), Cinnamon shot down at the knight like a cannon ball, hitting his lower back and knocking the giant to the ground.

"BRACO," the ninja heard his robotic friend call. He turned, watching Rattleballs whack the older fire-elemental with a dumpster repeated times, occasionally stopping to throw an egg at the injured crook. Rattleballs looked over at Braco, "-CB AND I WILL HANDLE THESE BOZOS... THE GIRL IS ESCAING. YOU NEED TO PURSUE."

Braco nodded his head, dashing off towards the escaping fire girl. Being much faster, and an expert tracker (not that it would be hard to track a walking fire) he quickly caught up with the girl in the plains just outside of the Candy Kingdom.

When she was in his line of sight, Braco pulled out several small, metal balls connected with a strong, thin rope. He lobbed them at the girl, and she was tripped up, metal wires wrapped around her legs, arms, and mid-section.

Braco stood a few feet away from her, taking out a blow-dart tube. He placed a dart within, looking down at her, "I'm sorry, but I don't think that regular handcuffs will work on you. I'll have to knock you out."

Inferna grinned maliciously, "You just try that."

The girl then exploded in a burst of fire, melting off her entrapments. Braco quickly back-flipped out of harms way, landing on both feet and quickly pulling down his mask to fire the dart at the girl.

He blew into the tube, launching the small dart at her. The former Flame Princess quickly lifted up her hand, melting the small projectile with a burst of fire before it hit her.

'_She's good...'_ thought Braco to himself, "but I'm better."

Braco pulled out several throwing stars, tossing them at the girl. She tossed her arm out, melting the stars before they hit her. Braco threw down a small satchel of powder and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"What?!" cried the fire-elemental, looking around. She turned her head to the right and quickly saw a figure crouched behind some bushes.

"For a ninja, you're not very stealthy!" she cried, cupping her hands at her side. She thrust both palms forward, firing a large stream of burning flames at the bush. It burst into an explosion of fire.

The leaves from the bush floated lazily from the air from where they had been blown, burning away into ashes. But, what laid on the smoking remains of the bush wasn't the charred corpse of a candy person, but a simple wool dummy, stuffed with cotton, which was burning up.

Before Inferna had time to react, she felt a hard chop hit her neck, knocking her to the ground. She cried out in pain, feeling numb all over.

Braco folded his arms over his chest, "Let this be a lesson to you- crime doesn't pay."

The girl sniffled, somewhat surprising Braco.

"I-I never even wanted to be a criminal!" she cried, "-my dad made me!"

Braco sighed, scratching the back of his head awkwardly, "Even if that's true, I can't just let you go..."

He looked down at her fiery orange eyes, which were not the harden eyes of a crook... but the scared, wide eyes of an innocent. Braco clenched both his fist and eyes, in a moral battle with himself.

"Alright..." he said finally, "-I'll let you go."

He leaned over and carefully tapped her pressure points, careful not to burn his fingers. She happily sat up, hugging his neck, "Oh, thank you, Braco!"

"No problem..." he whispered, feeling his neck burning, "-hey... do you mind... you're kinda... burning me..."

"Oh!" she cried, pulling away, "-I-I'm sorry... I didn't realize..."

"It's okay..." he muttered, turning back towards his kingdom, "-just stay out of trouble from now on, okay?"

The girl smiled happily, "I promise."

Braco returned the smile. He began walking back towards the Candy Kingdom, wondering if he had indeed done the right thing.

* * *

Simon paced around his house, sweating bullets. Peppermint had promised not to harm him if he kept his distance... but he didn't exactly trust that minty little imp...

"I'd never trust that devil, not after what he did to Betty..." Simon moaned to himself, finally sitting down at the kitchen table with a bottle of Jack Daniels. Not bothering with a glass, the blue man brought the nozzle to his lip, knocking it back with gusto, the crimson amber spilling into his messy white beard.

He coughed after pulling away, it felt like his throat was burning. He wasn't exactly intoxicated, if a bit numb. He grabbed the bottle again, but suddenly stopped.

"Come on, Simon..." he said to himself, "-what if Finn saw you drinking like this early in the morning...? You're a figure of hope to the people of Ooo, act like it!"

As if Glob heard his thoughts, Finn burst through the door, carrying a yellow bulldog in his arms. He rushed over to the table where Simon was sitting, showing him the dog, "Simon, what do we do?! I think someone shot him in the head!"

Simon quickly pinched Jake's wrist, checking for a pulse. When he felt it, he smiled in relief, "That's good... he's still warm, but his pulse his slowing... quick, bring him to the operating table. We'll do all we can for him..."

* * *

**I was smoking some good shit while watching anime, apparently. Naw, just joking... (maybe). But in all seriousness, I hope you like that I made Braco, Cinnamon Bun, and Rattleballs into your average sentai anime team. And about that whole ranking system... pay it no mind. I dunno... I might do a special chapter that compares how characters rank compared to their counterparts. And yes, I based the ranking system off of Yu Yu Hakusho. **


	8. Walking Among Us

Lemon Ninja clung to the shadowy corner of the operation room, grunting in annoyance, '_C'mon, just go visit your girlfriend already...'_

But, Finn was much to busy helping Simon operate on Jake for romantics. The sour ninja narrowed his keen eyes upon the father and son, watching the old man explain to his target's boyfriend that the dog they were operating on survived because of his unique physiology and stretchable bones.

Lemongrab barley suppressed his desire to shake in anger. That, along with his urge to shout 'UNACCEPTABLE' at the top of his lungs every time he found something was so, were two weaknesses he quickly learned to tame, although he would allow himself to splurge and yell it every now and again, when he wasn't sneaking.

Finn smiled, obviously relived, "That's great... I thought he was a goner... by the way..."

Simon smiled back at his son, "Yes, Finn?"

Finn rubbed his chin. Should he tell Simon about the dog's criminal nature...? No, he probably shouldn't. The likely-hood of that dog being the same as that Jake was very slim, and he didn't want to startle the already nervous Simon or be responsible for getting an innocent locked up in prison.

"Nothing... so, how long will he be out...?"

"I'm... not sure." Simon answered, "-due to his stretchy body, it's hard to tell exactly how much damage was dealt to him, thus, how long he'll be out... I'd say about two to three weeks, at the most. Until then, I think we can keep him here."

Finn smiled, "Nice. Well, do we have any thing to do today?"

Simon smiled, "No, not particularly."

Finn's smile increased, "Great, there's someone I'd like you to meet..."

* * *

Flame Princess, or as she was once known, walked back into the Fire Kingdom with a sigh. That kind ninja had let her go free; but she had no idea what to do next... she supposed that her strength was quite formidable. The only reason Braco had defeated her was because he used cunning, technique, and stealth.

"Maybe I can nag a position as a guard..." she thought aloud, watching a small firewolf run between her legs before scampering into the lava for a swim.

She soon reached the palace doors, where two guards stood tall and alert. As opposed to her father's guards of the past, these guards wore heat-proof turbans and were equipped with brimstone scimitars and small buckler shields of the same material.

"Hello." the flaming teen said cheerily, "-I'd like to try out as a guard, please."

They two guards looked back and forth at each other, before bursting out into laughter. Inferna's face lit up with indignity.

After somewhat calming down, one guard wiped a way a lava tear, "Sorry, little girl, but we don't hire teenagers for guards around here. Why don't you go play with your dolls or something?"

The fiery girl was about to let them have it, when the guards suddenly gasped in surprise and each dropped to one knee. The ex-princess rubbed the back of her head awkwardly, "Well, this is flattering, I guess..."

"They're not bowing towards you, girly."

Inferna turned around to see a man with a thick black cape with white fur surrounding the neck wrapped around his entire body, and a golden crown perched upon his scalp. His white hair was shaved on both sides of his head, and the stripe of hair he did have ended in a pony-tail that ended at his mid-back. He had sickly gray skin and elf-like ears. At each side, he was flanked by a wizard guard wearing gray armor with a ruby eye in the center of the helmets.

"Make way," commanded a wizard guard, "-for the Wizard King, Ash!"

"I'd think you'd best listen to my lackey and step out of the way, little girl. I have some business with the Fire King." declared the Wizard King.

Inferna frowned, stepping out to the side. Ash smirked and walked past, his guards at his sides.

"Jeez, that guy was a jerk..." she said indignantly.

* * *

Finn opened the door for Marcy, allowing her to float into his cozy home. She looked around and ogled in wonder, "Whoa, Finn. This is really neat!"

Finn took a seat on the brown couch, Marcy taking a seat by the human. They heard someone calling from the kitchen, "Finn, is that your 'friend'?"

Finn gave an irradiated sigh and responded, "Yeah, dad. Come on in here and you guys can properly introduce yourselves."

Marcy giggled, "Is your dad human like you?"

Finn scratched his nose, "Sorta, I guess... you can ask him yourself."

Simon walked into the room, smiling merrily. He looked at the couch and opened his mouth, "I must say, Finn, she's very..."

The old man fell silent, staring at Marcy. Marceline stared back at him, her eyes narrowed. Finn rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, "Uh... what's going on here?"

Marcy jammed a finger up at Simon, startling Finn and causing a look of hurt to shoot across the old man's face.

"You!" the Queen hissed, "-I remember you! You tried to take my crown!"

Simon bit his bottom lip, slowly edging towards the Frost Queen, "It's okay, Marcy... please, I just want to help you..."

Finn stood, his arms outstretched. A look of confusion and anger was smeared across the human's face, "Simon! What in the name of Glob is going on here?!"

Simon ceased gnashing his bottom lip, and beads of sweat began to form on his forehead, "Finn, I need you to just trust me... I've lied to you, but there's no time to explain-"

Marcy floated behind Finn, placing her hands on his shoulders and peaking out from behind him, "Finn! Don't let him take my crown!"

Simon edged closer, "Finn, please! Just restrain her, and I'll explain everything later..."

Finn grabbed his head, growling in rage. "I-I don't know what to do! What's going on?!"

Simon came ever closer, "Marceline, please, please, just give me the crown... I just want to help you..."

Her eyes turned blood red, and she lashed out at the old man, knocking him against the grandfather clock in the corner of the room. Marcy then grabbed the startled Finn by the shoulders with an iron-grip, and spun him around so they could see face to face. She hissed at him, "I should have known better to trust you! You're just like everyone else, you jerk!"

Finn broke free of her iron-grip and grabbed her by the shoulders, "Marcy, please! I don't want to hurt you... I... I just..."

The icy-demon didn't wait for him to respond, and instead extended her claws out, raking them across his chest. As Finn was recoiling in pain, Marcy flew out of the nearby window, ice-drop tears falling from her eyes.

Finn, placing his hand over his fresh wounds, looked back at Simon, angrily. Simon, just starting to get to his feet, avoided his son's gaze by staring at the ground ashamedly.

"What was that, Simon? What do you mean, you've been lying to me?"

Simon shook his head from side to side, "I'm so sorry, Finn... I just wanted to protect you... but, right now, we have an even bigger concern than Marcy..."

Finn clenched his fist, "What?! What could be more important than Marceline?! I... I love her!"

Simon sighed and began to unbutton his shirt, "I've lied to you about my age, Finn... I'm not 60, I'm over 1000. So is Pinyin. And I even knew Marcy when she was just a little girl. I'd best explain the whole story..."

His shirt came undone, and he exposed his chest to Finn. In his slightly wrinkled blue skin, there was a large, purple scar extending from his ribs to his heart.

"This scar is why I'm immortal, it's both a curse to force me walk the earth forever and an internal reminder of my foolishness..."

Finn began to calm down somewhat, "What do you mean, Simon...?"

Simon clenched his eyes shut, his jaw trembling, "I sold my soul to a devil... and his name is Peppermint, Supreme Lord of the Night O' Sphere... and he walks among us."

* * *

Peppermint sighed. Being a demonic overlord wasn't easy... making the choice of the lucky woman who would have the honor of bearing his child was a very difficult decision. The minty demon was currently in his temporary base of operations in Ooo; a fancy mansion filled with all manor of high-brow and guard demons. Peppermint himself, however, was sitting in a lavish throne room, fiddling with the ends of his red gloves.

Peppermint sighed once again, watching the next candidate for his mate (some sort of green woman with brown hair in a sparkly red dress) twirl around, showing off her curves.

The Wizard King, Ash, slithered to his side, "Whadda think of this one, Pepper...? Just take a peak at her rack..."

With the 800th bored sigh that evening, he lifted up his hand, blowing the woman away with a burst of purple energy, reducing her to cinder. Peppermint turned to Ash, "So, we're on a first name basis now, Ash?"

Ash quickly recoiled back, shrinking away in fear, "Uh... no, my Lord! It's.. it's just..."

"But nothing." interrupted Peppermint, "-I'll let it slip this time, Ash, but remember this: I gave you your power, and I can take it away... not that I would even need to do that to kill you. Now..."

Peppermint stood, looking angry. He balled his fists up and shouted, "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?! I'M AN ASS MAN! I LIKE THE PHAT BUTTS!"

Ash quickly slunk away, "Yes, yes sir... I'll find a candidate right away..."

Peppermint sat back down, his yellow, beady eyes flashing purple with demonic malice. He gripped the edges of his throne and cackled silently to himself, lost in madness.

Ash stood at the edge of the doorway, seething. Who did that a-hole think he was? Without warning, a dark mist appeared at Ash's side, forming into a human figure. It was a tall, dark-red man wrapped up in bandages, but he had on an onion-like metallic crown, as well as boots, gauntlets, and a chest-piece of the same dark-gray metal. The two red-gems on the crown and chest-piece signified one thing: he was Fire Kingdom Royalty, and judging by the armor, he was the king.

Ash smiled, "Oh, thank Glob, Scorcher. I need your help in rounding up as many hot chicks as we can... that crazy bastard changes his preference on woman every 5-seconds. So we're going to need to break out the big guns on this one... just grab as many differently proportioned woman as you can, and I'll get in touch with you later."

The silent monarch nodded his head... for he too struck a deal with Peppermint to achieve his power... and just like Ash, he was terrified of the demon's wrath.


	9. Simon's Story

_I was on my last leg..._

_I had developed a serum that would help me extend my life span... unfortunately, it was only prolonging the inevitable... without the power of the crown, I had to rely on my ever decreasing serum, that was becoming less effective every day... _

_But, I just had to find them... Marcy and Betty. Betty would be in her 60's, but I'm sure she was still alive. She was fighter. And Marcy... she had to be. She just had to. I couldn't die. Not yet. The girls I loved needed me... I needed to repent for my past sins. For my insanity._

_I found myself wander into a developing kingdom one day... that's when it all happened._

* * *

Simon's eyes slowly creaked open... until he found a pink woman in a brown dress directly above him, a soft frown on her face.

"Are you alright, sir...?" she asked worriedly.

"Oh?" Simon said weakly, "-yes, I'm fine... who... are you?"

She smiled softly, "I'm Princess Bubblegum. Well... I will be, once I'm finished with the construction of my kingdom."

Petrikov coughed violently, "I-I have to find them..."

"Who?" asked a newcomer. Simon looked to his side, seeing a small peppermint child at the side of his bed. The little candy helped Simon drink some water from a bottle.

Simon laid back again, huffing, "My-my fiance', Betty Grof... and my friend... Marceline Abadeer."

The peppermint child dropped the half-empty bottle, splashing H20 all over the floor. "M-Marceline A-Abadeer...?"

"Y-Yes..." Simon replied, "-she's part demon... but she's very sweet. She should be about 24 right now... er... I dunno... with that crown of her's, I have no idea what she would look like physically now..."

"Whoa, whoa..." interjected Bonnie, "-there's obviously a lot of details you're leaving out... but you're in no condition to tell stories right now. Why don't you just rest for a day or two, then we'll discuss it."

"N-No time..." stuttered Simon, "-I can feel it... I'm going to die soon..." he began to stand up, shaking like a leaf.

The old man gurgled when he felt a needle poke into his forearm. He turned his head to see Bubblegum jamming a needle into him and slowly pushing in the contents.

"I'm sorry I had to do that..." said the candy woman in a distorted voice. The world was spinning around in Simon's eyes. "-just rest..."

Spinning. Twirling. All Simon could see were stars, until his vision hazily faded back. He was strapped onto a bed in a murky, rank smelling room. Dog-eared books and strange, runic writings in what appeared to be blood where scattered randomly across the room.

"Ah, I see you're finally awake... it's a shame the Princess couldn't join us today, don't you think?"

Simon tossed his head over to see that same Peppermint staring up at him, rubbing his hands like a fly about to feast on rancid meat.

"W-what do you want with me?" Simon whispered weakly.

The ominous child grinned maliciously, "Marceline Abadeer... what happened to her? Where is she?"

Simon groaned, "I-I don't know. She stole my Ice Crown and flew off twenty years ago... I've been taking some medicine to extend my life until I can find her, but it's having a less than positive affect on my health..."

Peppermint Butler rubbed his chin, "Oh, that will be tricky... unless... do you have any of her close belongings? Any mementos at all?"

"What's to you, you little devil...?" spat Simon hoarsely.

"Well, you do want to find your wife and Marceline, correct...? Well, you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Give me any thing of high sentimental value she had and, if my spell works, I'll solve your little life-expectancy problem..."

Simon grunted, clenching his eyes shut and letting out a loud groan. He looked back over at Pepper, "I don't have much choice at this juncture... okay, I'll do it. Do you have my backpack?"

Peppermint began unstrapping him, "Okay, but don't try anything funny... if this isn't of value to her, I'll waste my potion that's necessary in completing it, and Glob only knows how long it will take before I can gather the proper ingredients again. That's why I needed you in the first place instead of just taking my chances and tossed everything you had in."

Simon shakily stood, taking slow steps to his backpack in the corner of the room. The blue man opened it up, taking out a red, slightly faded teddy-bear. He handed it over to Peppermint, "Here... just take it. She loved this more than anything."

Pepper nodded, "I see... well, old man, this had better work, or else you'll pay dearly."

The little devil walked over to a bubbling caldron in the center of the room. He tossed Hambo in, and the liquid exploded into a puff of smoke, leaving behind a tiny bit of blue liquid, barley filling up the bottom.

Pepppermint grabbed a ladle and dipped it in, laughing like a mad man. After obtaining a scoop, he lifted the ladle to his lips and chugged it down. Simon watched in horror as the little devil began shaking like a leaf, cracks running along his body, until he finally burst into smoke.

After the smoke cleared, however, there stood a pale blue woman wearing an appropriate sized version of Peppermint's suit. She gave her raven hair a toss and looked down at her hands, smiling to herself.

Simon grit his teeth, "What... what is this?"

The woman smiled back, "This is about what your friend should look like now... yes, it's perfect. Now is the time to strike."

Without further explanation, the Marceline-copy drew a Phil face on the wall, tossed bug milk at it, and chanted something in Latin. A portal was ripped open, and Simon peaked in with wonder, seeing what could only be described as Hell.

"Come, we have places to be." said the transformed Peppermint, stepping throught the portal. Simon grunted and followed, trailing behind Pepper with some difficulty, "What's your game? Why are you doing this, and why did you need to look like Marceline?"

The demon looked back and smirked wickedly at Simon, "We're going to go pay my daddy a visit..."

* * *

Before Simon knew it, he was in a demonic castle, right behind a black set of doors. Pepper looked back at Simon, "Do you remember your line?"

Simon nodded. He didn't particularly approve of this... but after what Hudson had done to his own daughter, he didn't really pity the demon either...

'_What was I thinking?'_ pondered Simon to himself,_ '…getting involved with demons to extend your life...? No, it's not for my own selfish ends... I need to find Betty. I need to find Marceline and cure her madness. This is a necessary evil...'_

Marceline's doppelganger opened up the doors, and they looked upon the sight of the devil chowing down on a double-Decker sandwich, his tie undone and his suit messy.

"M-Marceline?" stuttered the demon, slowly standing up.

"It's me, dad..." lied Peppermint. Simon grit his teeth at the trickery.

Hudosn rushed in for a hug, and Pepper did the same. He played an excellent game of pretend.

"We've been looking for a way into the Night O' Sphere for a long time, Hudson." lied Simon, arms folded behind his back, a fake grinned plastered onto his face.

"Thank you for taking care of my Marceline..." he said to Simon, his reptilian eyes watery. Simon chocked down a lump in his throat. The guilt was hitting him like a sack of bricks.

Pepper then grabbed the amulet from around Hudson's neck, quickly yanking it off. Marceline cackled as a look of shock spread across Hudson's face.

"Wait.. you're not my dau-"

Hudson didn't get to finish, because right before the words left his mouth, a knife was jammed into his forehead. The lord of evil fell to the ground, dead.

Simon balled his fists up, trembling with all sorts of negative emotions; fear at what would become of him, anxiety of what would happen next, anger at being manipulated, and confusion at how his life had fallen this low... he just assisted in a murder, and the guilt was the most nerve-wracking.

Peppermint, still in his Marceline-disguse, placed the amulet over his head, shaking almost violently in excitement. A black cloud surrounded him, and when it cleared just as fast as it came, a small child with an old man's white hair with a few vibrant streaks of red stood there. His small, yellow beady eyes stared up at Simon, scaring the daylights out of him.

"Not bad..." muttered the ex-Butler, dusting off his suit then adjusting his gloves, "-I have a feeling I'll be enjoying this new form."

Simon grunted, "I fulfilled my end of the deal, Peppermint! Now, give me my extended life! I need to find Betty and the real Marceline!"

Peppermint grinned a grin of pure malevolence up at Simon. He lifted his hand up, "Whatever you say, Simon... after all, it's only fair..."

A purle ray shot out from his hand, striking Simon in the heart. A large scar formed across his body as Peppermint tugged his finger to the side, slashing Simon's ribs as well.

The old blue man fell to the ground, crying out in agony. But, as the pain in his chest was brutal, he began to feel the strength of his days before the crown returning.

"There... the mark of eternal life." Peppermint said with that evil grin still spread wide.

Simon grunted, sitting up, "You... you little shit! I just wanted to live long enough to find Betty and Marcy, maybe 30 more years! I didn't want to be immortal!"

"I know." responded Peppermint, "-I could blow out the flickering candle of you're existence right now... very easily in fact. But, you've helped me Simon... you really have, so you're free to go. Go on up and enjoy your immortality."

Simon slunk away, defeated. As he was rubbing his new wound, grief overtook him. What would life have in store for him now?

* * *

Finn sat on the couch, looking down, his eyes wide. "So, what happened next..?"

Simon, who had lit up a cigarette, took a puff and shook his head, "I looked. I found Marcy... but she was long gone. She wouldn't even let me near her. She flew off again, and I just didn't now what to do... I've looked, for my entire 1,000 years of life, some way to break the crown's influence over her, but I just can't do it. The closest thing I've ever come to is anti-magic... but that's an incredibly dangerous kind of energy, and it would take billions of dollars in research and years upon years of technological breakthroughs to harness it safely and effectively."

Simon took another drag of his cig and went on, "... in my spare time, I helped Bubblegum build her kingdom on occasion, but continuing my search for Betty was my main priority. I had to find her... I just had to. But before I knew it, I had found her, just five years after that little fiasco with Peppermint... but... he had reached her first..."

Finn's eyes widened, "Huh?"

Simon, tears streaming down his cheeks, continued, "-he found her first, and he killed her... but it was fresh. He had been stalking me for his own sick entertainment, and killed my beloved right before I found her just to hurt me..."

Finn clenched his fists, '_I'm going to kill that bastard...'_

Simon finished up his tale, "-after that, I was just trying to do my part and help others as a doctor. But, one day, Bubblegum approached me about something... she had fallen in love with another woman, a thief. Her name was Shoko. She had stolen from nearly all the gangs in the surrounding area... she had a gigantic price on her head. It wasn't safe for them there. So, Bubblegum spliced her genes with Shoko's to create Pinyin. I raised her, and I finished development of the Candy Kingdom. Bubblegum and Shoko are the Immortal Theives... I'm not sure what happened between them and Pinyin. After that... I just meandered through life, trying to bring as many smiles as a could to the world. About 950 years later... I found you, Finn. And I found my new purpose- to be your father. But, just about a week ago, Peppermint came to Ooo and is now looking for a mate... but he should leave us alone as long as we don't cross paths..."

Finn stood up, trembling in anger, "How could you hide this from me?!"

Simon shot up as well, "I was going to when you were old enough to know, Finn! But after that little gang incident when you were 13, I realized something: you're reckless. You charge head first into situations without thinking. If I told you, you would probably run off and try to do some kind of crazy shit like steal Marceline's crown or avenge Betty and get yourself killed!"

Finn lowered his arms, sighing. Simon was right. The human turned around, ready to leave.

"Where do you think you're going, young man?!"

Finn looked over his shoulder, "I don't care if I die... I'm staying with Marcy. And you're wrong about her, Simon. She's not crazy. She's... she's introverted and paranoid, but she's the sweetest, funnest girl I've ever met, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

Simon threw his hands in the air, "Do you know how many people she's murdered over that stupid crown?! Do you think those banshee rumors started from nowhere?! "

Finn snapped back, "Well, they probably deserved it! They weren't trying to help her, they were just assuming the worst about her or trying to steal it for the money! If you can't love her the way she is, then stay the fuck out of our lives!"

Finn slammed the door shut, shaking the whole house. Simon plopped back down, placing his cig in the ash tray on the coffee table, watching the thin, gray smoke rise to the ceiling.

"You'd better not leave me, kid."


	10. All Together

Marcy flew threw the forest, sobbing her eyes out. She gradually slowed down, finding herself in a forest. She grabbed hold of a tree and hugged the trunk, sniffling, "Why does everyone try to kill me or take my crown...? I've never done anything wrong in my life..."

She hugged her knees to her chest, sighing, "I really thought Finn would be different... I really did... I... I loved him... and he betrayed me... but that Simon guy was his dad... oh, I'm so confused..."

The next thing the queen knew, she heard mad, shrill laughter reverberate throughout the forest. She looked up and saw several kunai knifes flying at her head. She put up an ice shield just in time, rolling out of the way as more broke past.

Before she could fly away, a black figure with an ovular head dropped in front of her, a knife raised. With a crazed shout, he thrust it at her, but the demon grabbed his wrist and tossed him into a nearby tree. The ninja simply kicked back off of it, landing behind her.

"Resistance... IS UNACCEPTABLE!" the killer shouted.

The Frost Queen was backing up, her hands ablaze with icy power, "What do you want?!"

"Your head!" he responded, throwing a flying kick at her. The kick hit it's mark, knocking her back into a tree. She slunk to the ground, growling in anger and pain.

Lemongrab pulled out a short katana, running at her to kill his target. Marcy shot a bolt of ice at his feet, but the ninja jumped over it, bringing it over his head, slashing out at her. Marcy rolled out of the way, and Lemongrab's sword was stuck in the tree.

Lemongrab growled at her, "You're dead! YOU HEAR ME?! DEAD!"

Lemongrab tossed a bomb at her, and Marcy quickly put up another ice-barrier, but it still blew her against another tree, and she slammed into it so hard it tipped over.

The demon girl groggily looked up to see the ninja looming over her, a knife in his hand. She saw her crown a few feet away, but she knew she wouldn't be able to reach it in time.

But as soon as she closed her eyes, waiting for the end, she heard a loud smacking noise. She looked back up to see Finn standing over her, his fist outstretched, and Lemongrab, recoiling back with a broken nose.

"Thank you, Finn..." she whispered softly, picking her crown back up and placing it back on her head.

Finn noded, looking back at the Lemon Ninja, "We'll have to talk later, Marcy. First, we have to deal with this guy."

Lemon Ninja growled, "Two against one...? That's isn't very fair..."

As soon as he said that, another Lemon Ninja stepped out from behind him, an exact replica, besides the fact that this newcomer wore a white ninja suit instead of a black one.

"Good thing I brought back up..." they said in unison.

Finn pulled out his black sword handle, clicking the button on the side and watching the blue crystal blade pop out. He placed it at his side, getting into a sword fighting stance, "Marcy, we'll have to work together on this one..."

"Right." agreed Marcy.

"ENOUGH!" shouted the two lemon-heads, "-NOW YOU DIE!"

They lifted their hands up, steel, tiger-like claws poping out from the top of their wrists. With simultaneous shrieks, they dashed at Finn and Marcy.

Finn lashed his sword out at the white Lemon Ninja, but he crossed his claws together and blocked it. Finn raised his sword back up, and before the ninja had time to react, he brought it back down, breaking through the claws and cutting deep into it's shoulder. The creature shreiked in pain as lemon juice spilled from the new wound and stained his white ninja suit.

Finn pulled the sword out and swung it at the lemon's head, but the ninja ducked under and rolled behind Finn, pulling out a chain sickle. The sour assassin twirled it around, licking his lips with his unnaturally long tongue. Finn held his blade defensively, slowly backing up.

Meanwhile, Marcy was dodging slashed from from the other ninja in black. She floated backwards, but the lemon's slices were becoming more and more intense, and she soon found herself backed into a corner. Seeing the oncoming killer, she cried out and stuck her hands forward, and they morphed into black, slimy tentacles. They shot forward, wrapping around the ninja's shoulders. She picked him up and turned towards Finn, "Finn, duck!"

Finn momentarily looked back at gasped in surprise, '_Whoa, Simon wasn't kidding when he said Marcy was part demon.'_

The human ducked, and Marcy hurled Lemon Ninja at his brother, and both with loud shrieks, crashed into each other, flying into a nearby tree.

Finn and Marcy stood together, laughing and smiling at each other, believing the fight won. The two ninja's unexpectedly flipped to their feet, however, and stood side to side.

"... time to end this." they said in conjunction, "SOUR SUPRISE!"

A yellow mist quickly shot off of both their bodies, cloaking the nearby area in the odd gas. The two teens spluttered and coughed when they took a whiff or breath of the noxious fumes.

They heard the insane laughter off the ninja's as they pressed their backs together.

"M-Marcy..." chocked Finn, forcing his eyes open, the yellow gas stinging them, "-we have to do something... we're sitting ducks like this..."

"I have an idea..." she chocked out, stretching her hands into the air. She then released a light blue mist. It twirled around her body, quickly overtaking the yellow mist and taking it's place. Without warning, the mist suddenly turned into solid ice, creating a large ice cube in the middle of the forest.

Finn and Marcy flew right above it, Finn gaping in awe at it. That awe soon turned into worry when he saw only one lemon twin frozen within.

"Where's the other...?" pondered Finn aloud.

"NOONE FREEZES ME! UNACCEPTABLE!" cried the one in black, throwing out several bombs at the targets.

They quickly jumped out of the way, and the bombs blew up the ice cube, killing the twin inside. The first ninja cried out in anguish as he saw his brother's frozen chunks fly into the air.

By this point the ninja was simply sputtering gibberish. Finn and Marcy looked at him with concern. That's when he spun back around, grabbing hold of Marcy from behind and lifting a bomb in his right hand, "THAT'S IT! BOTH! PIECES! BOOM! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The ninja then looked down at his palm to see Marcy freezing it solid with an icy beam from her index finger, encasing both the bomb and his hand in ice. She grabbed his other arm, and with her demon-strength, flipped him over her shoulder and slammed him into a nearby tree, knocking him cold.

* * *

Officer Lady Rainicorn was manning the front of the Ooo Interkingdom Police Force (or the OIPF, for short,) and was filling out various arrest records. That's when she heard the front door open, and looked up to see a pair of bloody teens carrying a frozen lemon person into the station.

"Um... may I help you?" she asked, sounding a bit nervous. Her English was still a bit underdeveloped, but she had learned enough that people would hopefully take her seriously.

The blond teen smiled at her, "Yes, you can. See, this ninja guy came out of nowhere and tried to kill my friend here." the blond gestured at the girl with white hair, "-he had his brother with him but, he died. She managed to freeze this one before he could pull a kamikazee on us, thank Glob."

Lady rubbed her chin, "Hmmm... wait! I know who this is!"

"You do?"

"Yes... he's a known assassin. He's killed many people... we'll bring him in for some... questioning."

* * *

After signing a few records and answering a few questions, Finn and Marceline were back at Marcy's frozen cave. They were both sitting on the roof of her small house, watching the moon from the mouth of the cave.

"So... I don't know what kind of girl you were before she put on that crown..." Finn began, blushing.

"I don't either..." inserted Marceline.

Finn's hand moved over Marcy's, causing both to blush vividly. Finn went on, "... but I think you're great just the way you are... Marceline the Frost Queen, not Marceline Abadeer. I... I love you just the way you are."

Marceline gasped, putting her hand over her mouth. She looked over at him, her heart soaring, "You... you love me, Finn...?"

Finn held her other hand, "I do. And I would be honored... if you would be my girlfriend."

A frozen tear of joy fell from her eye, "I love you too, Finn... and I want you to be my boyfriend."

They leaned in and gently pressed their lips together, wrapped in each other's embrace.


	11. A New Friend

Among all the burning buildings collapsing around him, Ash was telekinetically tossing a helpless woman into a large cage filled with other beautiful, potential wives.

Suddenly, Ash felt a hand wrap around his ankle. He looked down to see an injured mutant decked out in iron armor grabbing his foot and heaving, "You... you kidnapped my sister... you bastard..."

Ash smiled, "Oh, my aim must be getting sloppy. Here, I won't miss any vitals this time..."

He pointed his finger down at the man, but a large ball of fire came out of fire came out of nowhere, burning his shoulder. The wizard recoiled in pain, grabbing at his injury.

"I knew you were a jerk, but this is just pure evil!"

Ash snapped his head in the other direction, letting out a bestial growl. That flame girl, the same one he saw at the gate to the Fire Castle, was standing about a meter away, her hair fluttering in the breeze, sparks of rage glinting off her heated body.

Ash grit his teeth, "Little girl, you'll regret that..."

The flaming girl's fiery aura flared up, "I snuck into the castle and heard you and Scorcher talking about how you're going to kidnap a wife for some crazy demon, and I'm not having it! I followed my father blindly into a life of crime, and it's time for me to repent!"

A smug smirk spread across the King's face, "A nice little hero speech. Sucks for you that heroic speeches didn't save anyone. Guards, kill this bitch."

Several Guards ran out from the village, their wands raised, pointed at the flaming girl. Inferna quickly tossed out a barrage of fire-balls, knocking the guards out from the sheer heat exploding against their armor, nearly baking the wizards within.

Ash growled, tossing his cape to the side. He was wearing no shirt underneath, exposing his grotesque body. He was terribly skinny, almost skeletal, and was covered in ugly scars. All in all, he looked more like a homeless drug-addict than a king.

"If you want something done right, do it yourself..." he muttered, taking out a wand, "-unless, of course, you're making a sandwich. That's what women are fo- AAA!"

Inferna's fiery fist crashed into Ash's stomach, leaving a fist-shaped burn below his bony rib-cage. Ash stumbled back, clutching at his injury.

"You... why, you..." the Wizard grumbled, "-I don't have time for you. See ya, little girl!"

He snapped his fingers, a flying carpet appearing behind him. The wizard hopped on, speeding away. Inferna tossed a flurry of fire into the air, attempting to ground him, but to no avail; the carpet was simply to fast.

The ex-princess stomped her foot on the ground, "Damn! I can't believe I let him get away..."

"IMPRESSIVE," said a metallic voice from behind, "-MAYBE I WAS WRONG ABOUT YOU, GIRL. BRACO DID MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE IN LETTING YOU FREE."

Inferna saw the Sweet Three approaching her, a large smile visible from under Braco's mask. He turned to the other two, "See, guys? I told you it was good idea to let her go. Did ya get a listen to that speech she gave? Looks like the side of justice has a new ally! She even did our job and freed those girls."

Inferna sighed, "Yeah, until I nearly starve again and have to resort back to crime again... unless... you can get me a job as a guard at the Candy Kingdom?"

"Sorry," said Cinnamon Bun, "-those are reserved for the bananas."

"Oh..."

"Hold up a sec," interrupted Braco, "-my grandfather, Logan, was the founder of the Sweet Three, and his rules stated that any new members could be added to the team, so long as all three of use agree to you joining... it didn't say anything about what race you are. So, would you like to join us?"

Inferna sighed. "Fine, I guess it's better than being unemployed."

The Sweet Three huddled together, whispering back and forth.

They turned back to face her, "Alright, you're in... but you need to dump that biker chick look. We have something much better in mind..."

* * *

Cinnamon Bun dropped to one knee, turned sideways, and flexed his thick arms, "I'm the Super Sumo Cinnamon Bun!"

Rattleballs mirrored CB's pose in a mirror-like fashion, "THE ROBOTIC SAMURAI OF JUSTICE, RATTLEBALLS."

Braco dropped from above, landing behind the two and spreading his feet wide. He spread his arms out like a diving hawk, "Braco, the Unwavering Ninja!"

They all held their posses for a moment, still as statues. After a few seconds, Braco looked towards the nearby door to their studio, "Inferna, that's your q!"

"I'm NOT striking silly poses with you..." she muttered, stepping out. She was now wearing white, heeled boots and a vibrant red skirt. She also was wearing a sleeveless, white dress shirt with a red collar and yellow ribbon. To complete her look, she wore long white gloves and a small yellow bow to tie up her fiery pony-tail.

"...and I'm sure as heck not wearing THIS." she said, giving her skirt a tug.

"HOLD ON ONE MOMENT," said Rattleballs, "-SENIOR MEMBERS, HUDDLE."

The Sweet Four, minus their newest recruit, huddled together. Rattleballs looked over at Braco, "I'M SORRY, BRACO, BUT SHE'S A LIABILITY."

"I agree." added Cinnamon Bun, "-we're nothing without our cool fighting poses... and if she refuses to comply, then we'll have no choice but to fire her. No pun intended."

Braco gasped, "No, guys. If we kick her out, then she'll just go back to a life of crime... please, just let me try and convince her...?"

"ALRIGHT..." sighed Rattleballs.

Braco broke apart, running up to the peeved Inferna, "Please, Inferna, just try it... you'll love it. And besides, whose around to see us?"

She sighed, "Fine, I'll do your dumb pose. But why do I have to wear this silly outfit? It's revealing and totally combat impractical..."

Braco rubbed the back of his head, "Its to complete a look, okay? Besides, it makes you look super kawaii."

"What?"

Braco nodded his head, "It means cute."

She blushed a bit, "Do you really think I look cute, Braco?"

The yellow man fell flat on his back, "Whoa! Whoa! I didn't mean it like that!"

Inferna giggled, "You're such a dork, Braco! Alright, alright I'll try it... but only because this beats the heck outta prison."

The rest of her teammates repeated the process, and when Braco introduced himself, Inferna blasted in, landing in front of the group. She twirled around on the tip of her toe, pointing towards the imaginary crooks and allowing a jettison of fire to twirl around her team, before it finally exploded into shining ember, "-and last but not least, Inferna, the Beautiful Firestorm, reducing evil to ashes!"

"And we're the Sweet Four, Defenders of all that is Just!"

* * *

Ash walked back into Peppermint's mansion. He was in the huge foyer. The atmosphere was decisively purple, and the flooring was just like a titled checkerboard. The King plopped down in a red loveseat, watching the smoke pass through the air.

The entire room reeked of various drugs, sex, and the various stenches of demons. It was like a hybrid mixture of hell and a club in Pepper's mansion, and Ash was beginning to grow sick of it. He stared angrily out at the crowd of demons partying. He was a punk, but he had his pride... now that he was a king, even more so. How had he managed to become some piece of candy's bitch?

Ash knew Scorcher felt the same way, even though he couldn't speak. The Wizard mumbled something to himself and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it up with a magically-generated spark from his finger, '_One day, Peppermint. One day...'_

* * *

Lemongrab growled to himself as another officer came in to interrogate him. This time, it was a yellow bulldog with grizzly peach-fuzz, a brown longcoat, and a badge sewn on to his right pocket. The officer took a seat, setting a bandaged up object on the ground next to him.

The dog introduced himself, "Special Officer Jermaine."

The ninja laughed a bit, "What, are you gonna play good cop? How many times do I have to tell you pigs, I'm not squealing..."

The next thing Lemon Ninja knew, the officer grabbed the sides of his head and slammed him into the table, breaking his long-nose. Jermaine then released the lemon's head as he snapped it back, screaming in pain.

"You... YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" he screeched, "-THIS IS BRUTAILTY! I HAVE MY RIGHTS! I DEMAND-"

The dog punched his cheek, effectively silencing the yellow assassin. The dog began to unwrap the object, "I'm the only one making demands here, bub..."

Jermaine then pulled out a cross-designed, red sword. The officer ciezed the ninja's wrist and slammed it down on the table. He then hovered his sword over Lemongrab's fingers, "Ready to talk now, buddy?"

Lemongrab responded with a pathetic whimper.

* * *

Lady floated over to Jermaine's side as he exited the interrogation room. She whispered into his ear, "So... did he talk?"

The bulldog grinned, "Sure did. Now, let's go pay the Candy Princess a visit..."

* * *

Finn woke up by his girlfriend, smiling as the morning sunlight that managed to enter the cave reflected off her snowy hair.

While they did sleep in the same bed, they both decided to take things slow and not rush into sex. Finn flash backed to the week prior when they had that awkward discussion...

Finn sat on the edge of Marcy's bed, tugging at his collar, "Gee, Marcy, I dunno... I thought you wanted to take things slow..."

"I do." she responded, "-n-not that I'm nervous, or anything like that..."

Finn chuckled a bit, "Hold up, you're a virgin?"

She turned a dark shade of blue, "Shut your rude mouth!"

Finn patted her on the back, "Jeez, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that..."

"Are you?"

"Huh?"

"A virgin?"

Finn rubbed the back of his head, "Uh... he, sorry, no... I've done it with one other girl, actually."

Marcy tapped her fingers together, already jealous of this mystery girl, "Who... who was it?"

Finn sighed, "I dunno. Marcy, I was a bit of a... wild child. See, when I was 13, everyone kept calling me a human. Simon kept insisting to me I was a mutant, though, and after a big fight, I ran away for a year... I got into some street fighting. I also went to a few parties, but one night, I had a little to much to drink, and I woke up with some Water Nymph."

"Oh..." sighed Marcy sadly, "-well, I'm sorry, Finn... I thought you were mature enough to sleep in the same bed with a girl without banging her, but apparently, I was wrong..."

Finn quickly defended himself, "Whoa, whoa! I can sleep with you without sleeping with you."

She gave him a quick peck on the cheek, "Thanks, Finny... you're the best~"

* * *

Finn walked down the stairs, which he was relived to say, was no longer iced over. In fact, Marcy's little house was now uniced for Finn's health. She didn't really need the cold, she was just saw no reason to try and keep her abode warm with only her and BMO living there. However, Finn missed Simon... he needed advice.

Finn walked into the Church of Glob, taking a seat on a bench and sighing. The architecture of the church was very impressive... Gothic, and alight with a countless amount of candles, casting ominous shadows on the humongous statue of Glob, Gob and Grod that kept at the end of the walkway.

"Can I help you with anything, young man?" asked a polite voice to his side. Finn turned his head to see a priest with a nut for a head looking down at him, a warm, friendly smile on his face.

Finn sighed, "I need some advice, Father... uh..."

"Nuts. Father Nuts."

"Right. Well, you see, my father thinks my girlfriend is crazy, and he wants to change her, but I love her just the way she is."

The priest sat down next to Finn, staring up at the statue. He looked like he was deep in thought, or perhaps consulting one of the deities he served for what to say next.

"Well, child, is your girlfriend hurting anyone?"

"No, Father."

"Is she hurting herself?"

"No, Father."

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's super-shy and is really defensive about some things... but she's sweet, kind, and fun. I love her, but my dad just can't understand that she's fine just the way she is."

Father Nuts smiled, patting Finn on the back, "Well, I say you should sit them down and have a heart-felt conversation on how you feel."

Finn smiled a bit, "Thanks, Father. That might actually work."

* * *

Finn walked home, taking a whiff of the colorful flowers he purchased from a little girl in a leather dress on the way.

'_Marcy is gunna love these...'_

He stepped into the cave, "Marcy, I'm home..."

Then the human dropped the flowers on the ground. On Marcy's house, there was a gaping hole in the wall. Next to the hole, there was written in what appeared to be blood, "PEPPERMINT WAS HERE."

Finn rushed into the house, snapping his head back and forth. His eyes fell upon a golden crown, lying on it's side. The human rushed over to it, gently picking it up. '_How could I let Peppermint take Marcy away...?'_

"F-F-Finn..."

The human looked down at his side to see BMO lying under the table, his screen cracked. Finn placed the crown on the table and gently cradled BMO, "Don't worry, little buddy... I'll get Marcy back... I'll get Simon to fix you up..."

BMO coughed a bit, "Finn, listen... I threw a tracker on one of the bad guy's who took Marcy... the tracker's are built into my games so I never lose them... if... if you get me repaired, I-I can track them down..."

Finn nodded, "Of course I'll do it. Let's get you fixed up, BMO..."

* * *

Simon cradled BMO in his arms, clenching his fists in anger. The old man was struggling to hold back tears, "I can't believe that little bastard... why does he love picking on me so much?! Does he get some kind of sick kick out of hurting the one person whose ever helped him?!"

"It doesn't matter why he did it. But for whatever reason he cooked up in his twisted little brain, he thought kidnapping Marcy was a good idea... but he has another thing coming. As soon as BMO is repaired, I'm coming for him!"

Simon placed BMO on the table, sitting down and rubbing his eyes, "Finn... how? He's as powerful as the Lich... how will you ever beat him?"

Finn thought for a moment. Then he snapped his fingers, "Easy! I just need to steal his amulet; then he's as helpless as a baby!"

Simon stroked his beard, "That... might work. Hunson was powerless without his amulet as well... but there's another problem... he has help. How will you get past his demons?"

Finn tapped his foot against the ground for a moment, deep in thought. He snapped his fingers again, "While BMO is getting repaired, I'll go ask Lace to train me! If I'm lucky, he may even help me!"

"You sure that will work...?"

"It has to... for Marcy." replied Finn, a determined look in his eyes.

A tear of pride swelled up in Simon's eyes, "I'm proud of you, son. I'll take BMO to someone who can fix him, you go talk with Lace. And we have to hurry... Marcy could survive without the crown for 2 months, tops, thanks to her demon blood, but that doesn't leave us much time."

Finn grabbed his old man around his back, squeezing him tight, "I love you, dad."

Simon squeezed back, "I love you too, son."


	12. Reincarnation

Simon looked up at the giant sign in front of the white building. He sighed, "OK, this is the place, right, BMO?"

"Y-Yes..." replied the damaged gaming system weakly, "-my creator should work here..."

Simon looked back up again, "But... this just looks like a convenience store..."

BMO coughed again, some of his exposed circuitry shooting out a gush of sparks, "Please, hurry, Simon..."

Simon grumbled, "Okay, here goes nothing..."

The blue man pushed open the glass plated doors, seeing a wrinkled, dark skinned man standing behind a counter.

Simon walked up to him, "Excuse me... are you 'Moe'?"

"Why, yes I am." responded the old fellow with a wide smile.

Simon lifted up the damaged BMO, "Well, is it true that you built this little guy? He's real hurt, and he needs hel-"

"NONE OF THAT!" shouted Moe suddenly, slamming his hands down on the counter, "I've pissed away my entire life building those soulless machines, and guess what?! They're nothing! No different than rocks. Whatever quirks... or... or personalities they had... that was just programed into them. To think that I would treat those hunks of plastic and metal like my sons... ugh! It sickens me! I'm done with robotics, get that nasty little thing outta here!"

Simon cradled the sniffling BMO in his arms, "Fine, I see how it is. Well, I didn't want your help anyway..."

As Simon exited the store, BMO sniffled, "What do we do now, Simon...?"

The blue man scratched his chin, "There's one more person I now that's good with machines..."

* * *

Shoko laid back against her large, round bed. It was truly fit for a queen... or, two queens.

The green woman grinned from ear to ear as her lover walked into the room from the bathroom, clad in presumably nothing but a white fur coat. Her pink feet tapped softly against the red carpet.

Bubblegum laid down next to Shoko, running a hand through her ebony hair.

"I'm so glad you're only part candy..." she whispered into Shoko's ear, "-your hair wouldn't be so soft and pretty, otherwise..."

"Pfft. Yeah, easy for you to say. I can't just pop on some more candy and regrow limbs." said Shoko, rubbing the prospetic.

Bubblegum giggled softly, "C'mon, you love your arm. How many pickles has it gotten us out of?"

"Too many... now, how about we put it to another good use...?"

A loud ringing vibrated through the air, breaking apart the mood. Bubblegum growled irritatedly, "I swear, if this is Goose asking to record us bonking again, I'm going to ring his skinny neck..."

Shoko sighed, "Yeah, I really wish we could just go whack the guy. But ya know, that's easier said than done. Besides, hes given us a fair share of well-paying jobs."

Bubblegum nodded her head in agreement before picking up the phone, "Hello?"

"Bubblegum, it's me."

PB's eyes widened, "Simon? What can I do for you?"

"Do you think you could fix up a robot for me?"

"Of course, Simon. Just bring him right over."

The pink thief hung up the phone and sighed, "We're having company."

"Damnit." muttered Shoko. The green woman picked up a remote from the nightstand, flipping on the T.V., while PB went to go change into something more appropriate.

A smiling horse with a blue polo blinked onto the screen, "Hi! This is James Baxter here, and today, we'll be talking about-"

Shoko flipped the channel. Some kind of wrestling show. She sighed and flipped it yet again, where their was a news report. The anchor man was a yellow-skinned man with neat brown hair and a ridiculously inflated head.

"This is Gareth Marin here with breaking news-" he announced. Shoko's thumb was raised to change the channel again...

"-a shocking development in the Candy Kingdom!"

Shoko stopped. Bonnie, apparently having heard from the closet, came back into the room, half dressed.

"What's going on?" asked PB, concerned, "oh... I hope our little Pinyin is alright..."

The yellow man continued, "Lemongrab, also know as Lemon Ninja, has been arrested after two teenagers managed to subdue him. After a thorough interrogation, he admitted to having committed over 100 assassinations... all for the social and personal gain of the Candy Kingdom's Princess, Pinyin Bubblegum. She has been subdued and arrested, and is now awaiting trial... Officer Jermaine, a special officer for the Ooo Interkingdom Police Force, had this to say..."

A yellow bulldog appeared onscreen, a rainicorn floating behind him.

"Well, considering all the evidence stacked against Pinyin... I'd have to say both her and her assassin are getting the death penalty."

Bubblegum crashed into Shoko, crying into her shoulder. Shoko gripped her tightly, "It's okay, Bubblegum... we have to make this right. We were terrible parents... it's time we make it up to her."

Bubblegum wiped the tears from her eyes, "I-I'll wright Simon a note... now, let's go get our baby girl back..."

* * *

Finn gulped as he gazed upon Billy's Crack. He felt for several moments that he wasn't worthy to set foot in such a sacred place. He wasn't a hero...

Sure, he played hero with Simon as a child, but was he really? He fought monsters and crooks when he was helping the sick, not for loot, or danger, or saving a princess...

"What are you thinking, Finn?" he said aloud to himself, "-Billy never fought for any of that. Not the loot, fame, or women... he did it for those who couldn't help themselves. And that's what I do as Simon's bodyguard and assistant. I'm no legend like Billy, though... but I can't doubt myself. Marcy needs me..."

Finn stuck one foot forward, boldly entering Billy's lair...

* * *

Lace shook violently, grabbing at his head.

'_You need to help those girls.'_

_'No, they never did anything for you.'_

_'You're a hero. You have to protect Ooo for Billy.'_

_'Fuck Billy, that blue bastard is dead. Ooo can be your's, Lace. Ripe for the taking...'_

Lace sunk his fangs into his own arm, finally coming to his senses at the jolt of pain. He walked over to a cracked mirror on the wall, where he saw his eyes briefly flash green.

"No..." he moaned, "-I-I didn't want to believe it... but... he's inside of me... the Lich..."

The dog rolled up into a ball, sobbing. He grabbed his knees and his fangs clattered together, until he drifted off into his own horrendous thoughts. About how Billy killed himself... only to have his worst enemy live on inside of his best friend... live on inside of him. He had no idea how long he had been laying there... he even considered taking his own life. But he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

After drifting off into a painful slumber for Glob knows how long, the dog eventually got up and fixed himself some grub.

"Oatmeal." he grumbled bitterly, angrily fixing himself a bowl and leaving the small kitchen a mess.

After a few spoonfuls, (most of which were stuck to his jowls) he heard something... someone entering the lair.

"Someone's in my crack..." he whispered, immediately releasing the implications of that sentence.

"Um... hello? Lace, are you home?"

Lace looked up from his table to see a human boy... that looked somewhat familiar.

"What are you doing in my crack, kid?" asked the dog, "-and do I know you from somewhere...?"

"We meet in an alley a while ago..." Finn said, looking down towards his feet in embarrassment, "-I was getting mugged by a dog and a little blue guy...?"

Lace nodded, "Yeah, I think I do remember you... that was the day before... I started..."

Lace then grunted in pain, rolling to the floor. He could feel the Lich trying to pry into his mind.

"Lace! What's happening?!"

Lace managed to pull himself together, at last. He wiped the sweat from his brow, '_Hold on a sec,'_ thought the dog to himself, '_-I met this kid the same day the Lich started to pry into my mind... and now, after he shows up again... it's happening again?'_

Lace looked over his shoulder, staring at the concerned teen in amazement. The dog quickly ran over to his old friend's chair (which was effectively a pile of gold) and pulled out the Notung from the ground in front of it. He pointed the sword at Finn, and it began to glow blue and vibrate.

"I don't believe this..." whispered Lace.

"What... what is it, Lace?"

Lace stared up at Finn, "The Notung is reacting to your presence... that means your soul is a reincarnation of someone that was once part of Billy's life... but, considering how violently it was reacting... it could only mean one thing..."

Lace walked toward the stunned boy, teary eyed, "-you ARE Billy, kid."

* * *

**Crap. Meant to put some Shoko x PB backstory in this chapter... but I kinda got wrapped up in everything else. Don't worry, it'll happen. Also, as for why Lich has waited inside Lace for so long... I'll explain in the next chapter.**


End file.
